The Grapes of Confusion

| Jan. 08, 2015

If confusion is the door that wisdom comes through then what the hell is this? Just so there's no confusion, prepare to be confused. Continue reading for information that will completely blow your mind, but may ultimately frighten you and send you back to your regular routines. May "Bob" have mercy on your souls. Reader discretion is advised.......................................................................................................................

5 Reasons Jean Claude Van Damme's Mullet is the Greatest Actor in the History of Cinema

| Dec. 11, 2014

Let's just get this straight. Forget his flexibility, Van Damme had THE best mullet ever. His mullet might be the only time a mullet has been successfully pulled off in the history of cinema. Look at Hard Target. Why, if it weren't for Van Damme's mullet the film would have no action appeal whatsoever (just like this clip from the director's cut). It would be the same old boring blah blah whatever movie that would be forgotten minutes after seeing it. It would have been a literal snoozefest. Let's face it, his mullet carried that film.

Go Ahead, Meme Me

| Nov. 20, 2014

"1,478,954,217,389 allegations of rape? Have another pudding pop. Zipzopzubittybop!" - Bill Cosby

(sources: childhood ruined -- *sobs uncontrollably)

Boss Hogg Desperately Seeking Sugar Baby

| Nov. 14, 2014

Recently Georgia State University ranked at the top of the list of 20 colleges with the highest number of sugar babies. For those unfamiliar with the practice, a sugar baby is a young person who provides companionship to an older sugar daddy (or mommy) in exchange for money and gifts. The babies and sugar daddies meet on dating sites that cater to gold-diggers and chicks with daddy issues looking for generous, but perverted older men who want young women.

Hazzard County big wig, Boss Hogg, is no exception. Sugar daddies, like Boss Hogg, know college babies have financial needs, including student loans and tuition to pay off. So when all other means of earning income are exhausted, becoming a sugar baby doesn't seem so bad for a 20-year-old girl trying to pay her way through college and have extra money for partying, spray tans and clothes. Sugar babies are desperate and willing to do anything for cash, and the sugar daddies are either married or single and desperate for companionship.

In Memoriam of Jollybags

| Nov. 16, 2014

Dear whomever left a used condom at the end of my driveway,

Please quit leaving your discarded prophylactics lying around for others to see, or possibly have to pickup. It was basically lying in the street, but still. You are disgusting. Did you drop it there because you wanted to leave behind some kind of proof of your conquest? That's an odd thing to do unless you meant it as a message for someone. If I am that someone, well then, I am not sure I understand the message.