Imagine if the Writers Guild of America strike continues and they just pull in average Janes and Joes off the street to write episodes for our favorite shows?
This is what it might be like:
Steve Carell in a unanimous decision will be written out of future episodes of "The Office". He will inform staff he's unable to report to work because he is suffering from “enlarged balls.” I can't wait to try this one at work.....
"House" will get a new character called "Dr. Doom and Gloom", who will be twice the sourpuss Dr. Gregory House is. His trademark will include informing patients that they only have six months to live after they've been examined and found to just have the common cold.
"Desperate Housewives" stars will find their characters having multiple orgies with each other. They will murder/suicide each other off one character at a time until there are none. The show will then consist of three weeks of static until it is taken off the air.
The final episode of "Lost" will be written by Polish and German street performers who will give a very interesting take on what it really means to be "Lost"--the fact that the survivors of "Lost" will be found! ...On a tiny island 5 miles off the coast of Tasmania. Segue to a horrendous polka musical version of the entire series of "Lost" that will be re-enacted in 30 seconds, followed by a tedious three hour recap of this episode.
Late Night shows like "Conan", "The Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno", and others will be written by homeless persons handpicked off the streets of L.A., who despite being drunk, strung out on drugs, or in some cases criminally insane, will condense all the shows with the same scripts. They will tell the same jokes, have the same skits, and in some cases even the same guests--including broadcasting unknowns via webcam in N.Y. to shows in L.A. and vice versa. Yes, none of it will make sense. Leno/Conan/Kimmel's opening lines every night will consist of "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and "Yo momma so ugly" jokes.
"Heroes" will turn into a pornographic version where all characters on the show use their powers to get "jiggy with it". The catch phrase "Save the cheerleader, save the world" will be replaced by "Screw the cheerleader, screw everyone and everything in sight". Of course certain sectors of the general public will be intrigued by this turn of events--and will actually tune in--making "Heroes" a once again never ending go nowhere popular series.
The "Daily Show" will be written only once a month thus becoming "The Monthly Show"...
"Battlestar Galactica" will start featuring characters and re-enacting scenes from "Star Wars", "Star Trek", and "Doctor Who". The Wookies will destroy the Cylons and the Klingons will kill everyone.
Or maybe we'll all just be stuck watching "Knightrider" and "Walker: Texas Ranger" reruns?
Comic Billy Eichner talks to people on the street about the ongoing writers strike.