Thursday August 07, 2008
Article credit: Reuters
ROME - A 30-meter-long blow-up church will be erected on an italian beach near the Adriatic coast. Desperate catholic priests and nuns are following their flock to the the beach and are ready to take confessions, souls need to be saved and the church needs donations.
The question is what kind of confessions are they expecting from beachgoers?
"Forgive me father for I have sinned. I had intimate relations with an inflatable raft/surfboard/jellyfish (insert other inanimate object here for shock value).
OR; Swimsuits don’t look like they’re made anymore—they look like they’re grown in a petri dish. So it may be more like, "Forgive me father. I am wearing a most revealing outfit so that other beachgoers can see my naughty bits and this excites me."
I have to know will the blow-up church have an inflatable organ that can be operated by an organ player adept enough to play spiritual church music without popping the instrument? Will these churches have air conditioning? Will there be pews?
Are the priests and nuns going to wear their black colored, fully garbed habits to the beaches? My gawd, I think they may suffer heatstroke! It will be a complete nightmare of catholic guilt!
I can now clearly see that this bright idea will ultimately...
This reminds me of a joke.
A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change "The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." The Pope refused his offer.
Two weeks later, the man offered the pope 10 million dollars to change it from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and again the Pope refused the man's generous offer. Another week later, the man offered the Pope 20 million dollars and finally the Pope accepted.
The following day, the Pope said to all his officials, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, that we have just received a check for 20 million dollars. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account!"