Crabs Only Itch When You're Angry... like a clown


While The Angry Dolphin peeps on Slave crabs slaving away in the evil crab slave volcano, I had a wild thought and a wild moment with my clown.

So on this particular evening when I was alone and playing with my clown, suddenly I heard a knock at the door. I cleaned up quickly, quicker than I ever had before and hurried to see who was there. Why it was my good friends Buffy, Willow, and their friend Riley, and their friends friends Anya, Xander and Giles!

Static: Wow! Hay guyz wutz goin on lol! (wipes sticky hand on half open bath robe)

Buffy: Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean... Vampire-Demon tag team. Who says we can't all get along? Vamps hate demons. It's like stripes and polka-dots. Major clashing. I mean it now - first thing in the morning, we go tell Giles.

Riley: First thing. Good plan.

Static: Horny? Hooooowee! You so nasty girrl!

Xander: Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every other girl at the party to even notice you.

Static: Party? There's a partee man?!

Anya: So, you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with? Is that it?

Static: Huh, WTF... I think ur like totally hawt! (rubs nipple) Partay partay! Hey!

Xander: I'm just not gonna win here, am I? (pauses - looks frustrated... sexually frustrated perhaps)

Xander: We've gone other nights without sex.

Static: You poor fool, if I were with her I'd have nailed her by now.

Anya: I know. Twice!

Static: I know.. RIGHT?!

Xander: Dude, I think she was talkin' to me. Who is this guy? Nice hair man. Sheesh! (rolls eyes) Anyway, Anya, there's a lot more to you and me than the sex. Well, there should be.

Static: Uhhhhh, what else should there be?

Anya: I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young. Why didn't you take advantage of me? Is there something wrong with your body?

Xander: There's nothing wrong with my body.

Static: Pffft! Peshaw, yeah..like omg, right! Dude man, you're so ghey.

Anya: (laughs) Well, there must be somethin' wrong with your body. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about erectile dysfunction and -

Xander: Whoa! Hey! All systems go, here. No function problem, okay? You want sex? Let's have sex. Right here! Hot, sweaty, big sex!

Static: Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! I'm ready! Let's do this! Right here? Or in the kitchen... on the floor???!! (starts to take off robe)

(Everyone gasps and looks away - then a moment of complete silence)

Static: What?

Giles: (looks around at everyone) So... the two of them were working as a team?

Buffy: Everything except giving each other little pats on the behind.

Static: YEAH BABY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT! (throws robe over Xander's head and jumps Buffy)


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17 Comments:

Qelqoth said...

Two sets of those Hitler stamps could really cause some fucking damage.

Damian (666) said...

Buffy fannnnnnnnn!! LMAO funny as a really funny thing awesomenessisim in my pants you rawk ya Buffy fan

~Static~ said...

Qel - I think one stamp alone would cause a complete LULZERCAUST.

~Static~ said...

Damian - Who's Buffy?


..........................................................................LULZ!

Rick said...

Your post made me aroused

If I recieved a letter where the postage was paid with a hitler stamp I wpould find it much more awesome than I think is healthy.

Sara said...

Holy fucking shit. That octopus fetish seriously made me gag.

Damian (666) said...

Gag for sex?

threio said...

Do I get free postage and handling, if I buy a set of the stamps?

~Static~ said...

Rick - I'm glad our sponsors were able to arouse you. Like all the other nerds in cyberspace.

You shall receive a buttload of glossy magazine photos starring Ms. Nicotine and her pet octopus, the postage will all be paid with Hitler stamps.

~Static~ said...

Sara - Happy gagging on whatever it is you are gagging upon!

Btw your 'Profile is Not Available' or your profile is not set on 'share', so I am not sure who you are.
Although I think you may have Explosive Diarrhea?

~Static~ said...

Damian (666) -
[Gag for sex?]

??????????????????????? Ok...
How much do you charge?

~Static~ said...

Threio - Heyas KT! Of course you get free postage and handling, but only if you buy Ms. Nicotine a new octopus every couple of weeks. They cost around a few thousand dollars a piece.

Canucklehead said...

That octopi picture is wrong on SO many levels it almost comes back around the other side to being right!
(Please note that I said almost.) Ugh.

~Static~ said...

Canucklehead - Hi dude, thanks for dropping by man. I suppose you wouldn't be interested to see a photo of Paris Hilton and an OCTOpussy?

chantix said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
~Static~ said...

@chantix - I'd like to help you out...now, which way did you come in? So I can show you the way out, you mangled Crap-Weasel.

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