The Psychedelic Voodoo Lounge On Acid




"Turn On, Tune In, Drop Veg Out" man.


Stat Hendrix jams on stage with a fender stratocaster by ~Static~

People come to Krapsody for strange facts, weird tidbits and useless information. And so here's a bit more of that for ya.

TIRED OF THE SAME OLD BORING FURNISHINGS?
You are in luck friends. Thanks to Darkroastedblend.com who compiled all the oddities the furniture making world has to offer, now you too can have a Meat Mirror!



meat mirror


Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the meatiest of them all? Mmm, STEAKY. I like mine medium rare to well done with a side of mashed potates and gravy and wow suddenly I am like getting hungry and stuff.




OR how about that Armadillo Shell Lamp you've always wanted?

armadillo shell lamp


That's like a gag gift you give to your in-laws who have all that cheesy southwestern decor in their home. But then they love your gift so much they encourage all those cheesy friends of theirs that live on their block who have the same exact decor to buy one too.

Which leads me to present... the Cactus Couch! You just can't beat this prickly addition in your livingroom for those quiet cozy evenings at home in front of the fire or the t.v. set. Comes with a handy first aid kit. Can you say, "pass the tweezers, please"?



cactus couch
(This should be your in-law back up gag gift).


Not weird enough? How about these then.



bookcases from alice in dumpsterland
table piss

You know you really have to have a sense of humor to own the table that looks like it's answering the call of mother nature on your floor.


If you have your living space covered then how about a new bathroom fixture?



I just shat 20 goldfish


I've always wanted that uncomfortable "feel like I'm being watched while I take a dump" sensation. Thanks to the manufacturer of this modern miracle now I can.

I just shat 20 goldfish. Hmm... wonder how THAT happened.

And if you're homeless, I'm sorry but there are no psychedelic boxes to choose from yet. But I'm sure the distributors of these fine articles may go that route when they start shipping these out in mass quantities (which will likely be never). But if you're homeless you probably don't have a computer, so you won't read this and consequently aren't missing out on anything.


 Let me leave you all with a psychesqualidelic song.

Edit: Song credit 'Purple Veins' by The Jimi Homeless Experience





18 Comments:

scarlet-blue said...

Is the Cactus Couch the mother of the Cactus kid by any chance? . . . And is it going to show up in the next ad for soft drink 'Oasis'? . . . . Yes Static you are a scary chap!

Sx

scarlet-blue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gorilla Bananas said...

The cactus couch looks like the perfect way to commit suicide if you've got an itchy-skin disease.

~Static~ said...

@Scarlet-Blue - Heyas doll. The Cactus Kid is based on the love-child of Rudolph Valentino and a cactus named "Bob".
Their torrid love affair and freaky conceived child is what inspired German born director Lee Kohlmar to make the movie.
Incidentally the Cactus Kid a.k.a. Gumby he's the little green guy who starred in the same named animation. Gumby underwent YEARS of cosmetic surgeries to remove all those needles so he could get "closer" to Pokey if you know what I mean.

The couch may make an appearance on reality tv series 'I Survived a Japanese Game Show'.

And aww shucks you found me out... I'm as scary as a teleconference with a nude Queen Elizabeth.

@Gorilla Bananas - Indeed it is an excellent way to do just that. Or it also makes a fine addition to any front yard with a sign on it that says "free couch".

Damian (666) said...

Kick ass! I'd buy all of that stuff and put it in the guest room then invite the mom in law over to stay!

Damian (666) said...

Hang on I'd need a family first or at least a girlfriend or hot piece of ass!

~Static~ said...

@Damian - Silly hobo. You forgot that you'd need a place to live first too. =P

Damian (666) said...

@ Static, my empty boxes not good enough? Yo mumma don't mind em hahhaaaaaaaaa. Damo OUT

~Static~ said...

@Damian - Touche good sir.

Yeah your box is good enough with all your psychedelic crayon srawling and paint splatters. I noticed the fine additions of a refrigerator box for a livingroom and the bucket under a tarp taped to the side of that for a toilet, it's a nice makeshift restroom.

And my mumma is no longer amongst the living, so that floozy you're speaking of ain't my mumma. Better check her ID next time you shack up with some crack whore. Haaaaaaaaa, kidding.

Don said...

Ahh. The old cactus couch - for the masochist in us all. Can I have one? Huh, huh, please???

Fay said...

Nothing feels better when you have chicken pox than a nap on the cactus sofa.

Sharath said...

The meat mirror= scare the shit out of a vegan.

~Static~ said...

@Don - Seeings as I'm not a sadist, yes you may have one... wait... no you can't have one... wait... dammit. I just can't win here can I?

@Fay - That is a good point. I have also heard the National Psoriasis Society fully endorses the cactus couch for dealing with the symptomatic responses to that skin disorder.

It sure beats the dark age regimen of blood-letting, dousing and burnings. Often confused with leprosy, psoriasis sufferers were subject to forced quarantine in leper colonies which was significantly more sadistic than this current "improved" treatment. All Hail The Cactus Couch.

~Static~ said...

@Sharath - They also have a vegetable mirror to scare the shit out of exclusively carnivorous trogdolytes.

Qelqoth said...

I totally want one of those meat mirrors.

~Static~ said...

@Qelqoth - Would you care for some worcestershire or teriyaki sauce?

dana wyzard said...

With everything you posted, the cactus couch won hands down, but no one mentioned its intended use: grandkids who like to hop on that which they don't have to pay for. SIT ON THIS, kid!

~Static~ said...

@Dana - Hiya Dana, thank you for another possibility for cactus couch uses. Of course naughty grandkids should always be given that opportunity to sit on it.

I thought my idea regarding the couch being a great gift idea for the in-laws was perfect for christmas shoppers to add to their list as well as a practical idea. But I still think putting it out in the front yard with a sign on it saying "free couch" is a great idea too, more than likely someone would just take the sign however. And the couch would just be left there to rot in the sun.

Hey, what about this; y'know in that animated series The Simpsons and the couch gag in the opening sequence of the show? Every episode the couch scene was different in some way, like the couch was on the ceiing or they arrived to find The Flintstones sitting on their couch. So I'm thinkin' how about they have them all plop into a cactus couch? That would be absolutely fricken hilarious. HA! They'd be scraping Simpsons off the ceiling after that one... ha ha hee hee ho ho they're coming to take me aawaaaaay! =P

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