Before I get to the nitty gritty of a reader's email, the fourth question for Krapsody's advice column, Ask Static, I trust everyone is having a good holiday so far this year. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from Krapsody.
Be safe kids. We will have no drunken carousing while trying to shoot a turkey at the last minute, and taking out your foot instead. Also, please refrain from slaughtering turkeys in the background while a former vice-presidential candidate is doing a television interview. That is just really poor taste. Thank you.
Now that we have that covered, I'm sifting through the rubbish that is my email, and Great Scott, what's this? This one looks interesting. Yes, I think this one is quite good.
Has all of humanity lost their way? Why does no one comment on my blog like they do yours? If they do leave comments they only make fun of me. Why oh why oh why?
To leave a comment, or not leave a comment, that is the question.
I choose not to leave a comment.
Doh, I see that didn't last long.
Alright, well, seeing as my resolve was short-lived I may as well comment upon your inquiry..um.. Mr. uh... God..
Short answer for your VERY BROAD first question is, yes.
Good. On to the next one.
Secondly, comments are great! I mean both the good ones, and the bad ones. The comments I have received are sublime. I appreciate every single comment people have left on my blog, and I try very hard to respond to every one of them. There's a few that have been downright negative, or just out-and-out spam. But that simply adds variety, and variety is the spice of life, my friend. Be careful you don't add too many spices however, doing that will give you heartburn.
As for me, whenever I visit blogs, I’m a serial-commenter by nature. It’s probably because I have an opinion on everything, and maybe it's that I think people care. Or honestly, maybe it's because I’m a compulsive freak. I also like to poke fun at things, including people, maybe I'm a sicko or something. You probably know me better than I know myself, God. So you tell me?
Since we're asking questions here, I have a few of my own. What benefit do you think there is in getting comments? Wouldn't you say that many people are dumber than monkeys? As a matter of fact I'm betting that half of them ARE monkeys. So why would you care or even want to know what those monkey people think?
CAN YOU SPARE $4 BILLION DOLLARS? What's a few billion between friends? Isn't that the reason why we are losing our way? Oh, right. You don't believe in evolution, or money, and you were asking the questions.
Here's a fable to consider:
I have one burning passion in my loins. Like a flaming, golden hawk.
Whoops! Wrong one. Alright, here we go.
A BALD KNIGHT, who wore a wig, went out to hunt. A sudden puff of wind blew off his hat and wig, at which a loud laugh rang forth from his companions. He pulled up his horse, and with great glee joined in the joke by saying, "What a marvel it is that hairs which are not mine should fly from me, when they have forsaken even the man on whose head they grew."
Thy pride is but the prologue of thy shame - Aesop's Fables
The moral of the story, is that sometimes you have to not only be the joke, but you need to own the joke.
By owning the joke you join in and act like, "Yeah! That's right. So I'm a silly looking, bloated, chrome-domed knight who overcompensates by acting all tough and stuff until my wig flies off. Ain't no thang to me. I'm keeping it real. While you guys are busy splitting hairs, or making fun of my lack thereof, I'm still baggin' all your ladies, and a turkey to boot. 'Cause I'm Mr. Personality."
So see? Sometimes a good diversion is all you need to turn the joke around on them. You shouldn't get all bent when some dimwits make fun of you. After all we're only human... and you're like... God and stuff, dude.
Tune in next week when I help a group of battered fathers escape their 5-year-old tormentors...