Bad Holiday Theme Campaigns

This is a story about the ACCCE's Magical Mystery Carbon Storage Adventure! and their Bad Holiday Campaign to promote "clean coal."

ACCCE in recent years has spread its falsehoods on TV, radio, and in print, often spending millions. In 2008, ACCCE’s clean coal campaign reportedly had $50 million to spend on pro-coal, anti-climate initiatives.

And this is the shit they spent it on.

"Frosty the Snowman" becomes, "Frosty the Coalman": a new holiday-themed greenwashing campaign By ACCCE - the devil in disguise.

Watch it here (if you like throwing up in your own mouth, and then swallowing it):

Frosty the Coal Man, is a jolly happy soul.
He’s abundant here in America and he helps our economy roll.
Frosty the Coal Man, is getting cleaner every day.
He’s affordable and adorable and helps workers keep their pay.



This is just further proof that using X-mas songs for an seasonal themed campaign is an abomination to all that is decent and good.

They also have versions of "Oh, Holy Night" ("Clean Coal Night"), and "Deck the Halls (with Clean Coal!)."

Hmm, maybe they should have lent that money to the auto industry? I know AIG could have used some of that money to bail themselves out of that deep well they call the AIG Christmas Party.

Come to think of it, I could use some of that money.

ACCCE's new campaign is certainly something I can say "Bah, Humbug!" to.

I think my version is better:

Frosty the Coal Man, is a lying sack of chode.
He’s abundant here in America and he helps our lungs explode.
Frosty the Coal Man, is getting scummier every day.
With mercury emissions, asthma attacks and melting polar ice-caps he does us in faster this way.



UPDATE: Could these horrid songs be an additional sign, that the end of Christmas is near?

5 Comments:

Don said...

Look at the bright side. If fossil fuels and refining are soooo detrimental to the environment and are the leading cause of global warming, hell, the warmer things become then the less coal we will require anyway. It's a wonderful thing...

Don said...

Part 2:...except coal also fires power plants but who needs electricity? Nuclear power can make that without the emissions. No wait. We aren't allowed to do that though. Oh well, maybe we're fucked after all.

timethief said...

Congrats! on the new domain. Clean coal ... lol :P

~Static~ said...

@Don - I've tried looking at the bright side, however, it seems to be obscured behind a cloud of smog lately.

We use coal not just for heating our homes, but providing electricity, and for the iron, steel, and other industries.

As for nuclear energy, ever hear of Three Mile Island and Chernobyl?

There's still hope, we still have the petroleum industry to rely upon.. um whoops, speculators say we will run out of that soon.

Hmm, guess we'll have to rely upon Plan C: the gerbils on wheels alternative energy idea...

@Timethief - Thank you! Yeah, CLEAN coal...heh, now that's an exaggeration.

What will it be next? "Clean" contaminated drinking water? "Clean" nuclear waste?

The coal miner says: It's so clean! So clean! So clean! But why are my lungs so black?

scarlet-blue said...

Well... we could always wash it...
Sx

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