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Sam - Associate # 1132
Gosh, golly, thank you. Why I was sitting around just thinking about what I would do if I had a $1000 to go shopping at Home Depot. I was going through episodes of needing to do some home improvement projects withdrawals.
And now, thanks to you.. my dream has materialized right before my very eyes. Why...I'll be in weed whackers, leaf blowers heaven! Not to mention that I can finally afford that 2,000 lbs. of manure and potting soil I needed, so I can grow a healthy crop of screw you plants.
I give Home Depot five stars for being such a great place to shop drunk at.
As a matter of fact, I think I'll head over now in a borrowed pickup that is all "bachelored out" with it's "hit-and-run/beat-to-shit" exterior and when you open the door a bunch of beer cans fall out. It's got spinners on it, it also has pink fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror, "slightly asshole-ish" mud flaps adorned with those chrome-plated naked bimbos, and a pair of truck nuts hanging from the bumper.
Piss off "Sam", in case you didn't catch onto my sarcasm yet. Do ya think you could send me 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 more spam emails in a day from a series of masked/fake email addresses?
Incidentally Sam, have you read my most recent self-help/do-it-yourself book? It's called "Life Lessons by Static"
The first chapter? Don't eff with me.
And the second chapter? Be wary of my foot going near your posterior or any other open body cavities. I think your intestines would look better on the pavement, what do you think, Sammy?
What was the link you say? www.spammingbunghole.com?? I thought so.