Easter Beast or Bunny?


Happy Easter Happee Eeeaster everybodeeeee! Remember that Mohammad cartoon debacle?

Well this one tops that by a gajillion miles..somewhere a Christian extremist is plotting their sweet revenge.




Bunny Jesus


Anyway, I find the image to be extremely appropriate. I always found Catholic imagery to be frightening as a child. It was always so...bloody. I always would imagine the smell of ancient blood splattered on the ground. Blood everywhere. Scary Inquisition victim blood. Scary tortured and crucified Jesus soaked in blood.

It disgusted me. And any church literature on the subject I've seen was just as awful. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for spiritual beliefs, but does an organization have to slap others in the face with bloody images? Just preach the word and let those who want to hear it listen and those who don't, leave them alone. Do you have to "save" or condemn everybody?

But the rabbit laying Jesus eggs is not so strange. A rabbit laying a Jesus egg actually is quite religiously mythological. This is precisely how religion works. The evolution of it. The rabbit, the egg, Jesus, the blood – all religious symbols.

The animal fertility character giving birth to the human sacrifice. The idea of Easter is just another holiday lifted from Pagan religions anyway. What came first, the bunny or the egg? It certainly wasn't Jesus, speaking historically or um, metaphorically.

I'm sure I'll have a bunch of psychos responding with hate-filled comments about this image that I didn't create - and my commentary that may challenge their beliefs. But why? What problem could anyone possibly have with this? It’s all very Jesus-y.

Could it be that since the blood is the rabbit's that is what makes you mad? You guys are the same types who bought Beatles records and then burned them when John Lennon observed that they were indeed bigger than Jesus in the minds of the young. Which coincidentally was kind of true.

Let's put this into context. The Easter Bunny is just creepy anyway. Not that I really have to give any examples, but I'm gonna.

creepy easter bunny

"Just for the record. Yes. I am creepy. Aren't I????"
- The Easter Bunny



Let's have a look at some other creepy Easter Bunnies.

The Radioactive Crochet Easter Bunny

radioactive crochet easter bunny

The Vintage Creepy Easter Bunny

The Vintage Creepy Easter Bunny

The Slightly Less Vintage but Much Creepier Easter Bunny

The Slightly Less Vintage but Much Creepier Easter Bunny

Snip Snip the Castrating Easter Bunny

Snip Snip the Castrating Easter Bunny

Bounce-O the Creepy Easter Bunny Clown

Bounce-O the Creepy Easter Bunny Clown

The Creepy "I'm Lurking in the Bushes" Easter Bunny

Creepy Easter Bunny Lurking in the Bushes

The Fascist Enthusiast Easter Bunny

The Fascist Enthusiast Easter Bunny

The Easter Bunny Demon

The Easter Bunny Demon

The Easter Bunny Monster

The Easter Bunny Monster

Jeff Koons’ "Rabbit" Easter Bunny

Jeff Koons’ Rabbit

And finally, Trigger Happy TV’s Exhibitionist
and/or sexual assault Easter Bunnies


Happy creepy Easter! Don't leave your eggs exposed for very long. Those wabbits look hungry. I'll just be over here minding my own business and biting the heads off of chocolate Jesuses and Easter Bunnies.


14 Comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Eggs aren't bloody. A bit slimy perhaps when they first come out, but not bloody. You've got to give credit to hens for keeping their birth canals free of blood. And Jesus love you, even if you don't know it. To us gorillas, he's just a pal.

threio said...

Damn, I got to go now. maybe a laxative before i go though, don't want to recreate that scene.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Erm.. you've nearly put me off my eggs!!
Happy Easter!
Sx

rick said...

i need to find out where i can buy the easter bunny suit that is second from bottom... probably the best thing i heave ever seen

The Easter Bunny said...

Would you like a Cadbury creme egg?

Skrib said...

Don't ever buy grass from the Easter bunny he'll rip you off.

Thinkinfyou said...

I once got felt up by the Easter Bunny...sick fucker!

~Static~ said...

@Mr. Bananas - Jesus warned of the evils of chickens. Beware the demonic chicken!

~Static~ said...

@Threio - Just read a few more articles here at KRapsody..that ought to work.

~Static~ said...

@scarlet - I'm sure your eggs will be fine..and if you're eggs are damaged then you can't procreate.

Sorry, but this was my plan with this post. To end all human procreation. It is the scourge of mankind. Just ask the Easter Bunny and a chicken.

~Static~ said...

@Rick - I believe you can buy it at any Old Navy outlet.

~Static~ said...

@the Easter Bunny - fuck off.

~Static~ said...

@Skrib - Now I know why you have a penis for a nose. Gawd tricked you too, didn't s/he? And who said, Gawd doesn't have a sense of humor. Ha ha, oh yeah.

~Static~ said...

@Thinkinfyou - did ya like it?

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