As I've gotten older very few things shock me anymore. Mostly, things that are meant to be shocking end up making me laugh...which happens quite frequently. I often burst out into fits of laughter. I must look like a crazy person...just laughing hysterically seemingly for no reason.
Whether I'm at the bank and see my account balance after I make a deposit; whether I'm opening my mail and come across my latest cable bill; or whether I'm surfing the internets. This would be one of those moments.
As we all know, Walmart is a haven for just about anything you could want. It's also a haven for the lowest common denominator. But not as low as this:
GUY CALLS WAL-MART FOR BUTTPLUGS LINK
FYI Butt Plug Guy - I don't think they sell butt plugs at Walmart. At least not yet. Since Plan A: Assorted Adult Novelties and Plan B: Butt Plug failed, perhaps for Plan C you can use a Cock Ring instead? And place it firmly around your pencil neck.
If that wasn't enough Walmart lols for you...there's more!
You're welcome for the visuals. Hey if I gotta suffer, so do you!
The only thing more shocking then those Walmart tidbits is this news story about some
scumbag BUTT PLUG who slapped a stranger’s crying toddler at a Walmart in Atlanta.
Roger Stephens, 61, baby slapper, slapped with felony and jail time. Looks like a winner, don't he? He appears to be quite the
BUTT PLUG bastard. That bastard must have been reading the gospel according to St. Bastard. You have to be a total bastard to slap a child simply for crying.
Annoyed by someone's crying child? Bastard. The toddler probably just needed a pacifier. Getting annoyed with and slapping a toddler is using about as much intelligence as a butt plug has. What a big baby, "Oh, shut that child up, it's annoying me..waaaah!" Stephens needs a pacifier, a big ol' butt plug to just shove in his gaping maw.
His motto must be, "When life gets complicated with no patience for crying brats and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then slap toddlers like a bastard, from the Pecos, to El Paso, to Atlanta... with the bastard music at top volume, a butt plug in my pie hole, and at least a pint of ether, and a case of Arrogant Bastard Ale."
Bastard. Goddamn Butt Plug.
Perhaps the butt plug bastard is getting a bit of bitch slapping himself at the Gwinnett County Detention Center? Nothing pisses me off more than a butt pluggin' bastard. Especially one who's stupidity overshadows his cowardice and need for butt pluggin', because that's where his head is!
There are plenty of butt pluggin' bastards in the world.
There's Fat Bastard, the largest Butt Plug to walk the Earth
There's Ol' Dirty Bastard, foul mouthed Butt Plug Rapper
There's Inglourious Basterds, butt plugs! (ha, just had to throw that in there)
let's not forget Chris Brown, butt plugged bastard,
and there's Michael Vick, to name a few. Total Butt Plugs. The Bastards.
I'd like to see what kind of hits I get for butt plug. I'm sure there will be A LOT.
Jebus! Nothing like a paradigm shift without using the clutch! We need to thin the herd folks.
There are 5 things to use in the defense of children:
Police, Jail, Soap, Jury, Ammo. Use in that order. Starting now.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
So could that butt plug you're sucking on. Bastards.