Halloween Countdown: 14 Days : Devil's Rejects


chicken Two weeks to Halloween and I haven't found the ultimate movie or meme to rate. But I'm getting closer with this edition.

The last movie I reviewed, that's an epic. It's just dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of it and throw the original away. And when you get through with that, throw the carbon copies away. Just read on for more disposable entertainment.

If you've seen Rob Zombie's House of 1,000 Corpses then you've probably seen the sequel, Devil's Rejects. But if you haven't, then you're missing out on some fine family entertainment.

It doesn't really warrant a plot summary. But it does deserve some explanation. It's possibly one of the most indulgent horror movies you'll ever see. Over-the-top comedy and depravity at it's finest.

Nothing's better than an entire family of serial killers than a movie about an entire family of serial killers to get you in the mood for Halloween. And this by far has to be the best clip from that movie.




No. no. no..got it all wrong. The poor bastard just wanted some fried chicken, not to be ridiculed for the preparation and secret ingredient. It's CHICKEN PLUCKER. Not CHICKEN FUCKER. It's an auditory anomaly. Your ears are playing tricks on you.

Harland Sanders, a prominent chicken-fucker who heads a watchdog group that monitors the portrayal of chicken-fuckers in the media, is "not at all amused" by this clip, which gives you even more reason to see both of these celluloid offenses.

"Chicken-fuckers have feelings, too," he says. Mr. Sanders asserts that the explosion of chicken-fucking jokes on late-night TV and on the Internet are "insensitive and hurtful."

"Once again, we chicken-fuckers are being stereotyped and belittled," he said. "We need to get the message out that the act of love between a man and a chicken, when consensual, is a beautiful thing."

Sooo...keep pluckin' those chickens and rent, borrow, or steal Devil's Rejects.



Halloween Countdown




4 Comments:

Julio said...

I hated that movie, THOUGH I'm glad you realize that a plot summary would be a waste of time and that the movie's saving grace is the completely unnecessary and absurdly over-the-top violence.

I am particularly and personally against this film because I had a friend who FUCKING WATCHED IT 100 TIMES. And the thing is, I'm not exaggerating. He had a countdown and would mark off every time he watched it until he got to 100. When he DID get to 100, he threw a party (the type that nerds like us have) to celebrate this "momentous occasion." The thing is, I was angry at IT and Rob Zombie for ripping off EVERY other horror film made, especially Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And to make matters worse, no one acknowledged this. They just pretended as though Rob Zombie was some sort of Genius. Sorry, the nerd rage is a-rising. As is my penis.

Static said...

I tend to agree with you on two points. First, watching this movie 100 times is only reserved for the unemployed and dumb criminals who need pointers on how to go on a killing spree and murder senselessly AND then get shot to death by law enforcement.

Also, Devil's Rejects and House of 1,000 Corpses are more or less horror movie spoofs, satirical side projects of Mr. Zombie's.

I assume because he got bored with making music and has always had an interest in B-movie horror flicks.

Is it original? Not really.
Is it genius? Not especially.
It certainly draws comparisons to Texas Chainsaw Massacre (which was loosely based on the antics of serial killer, Ed Gein)...so like anything really, nothing is entirely all that original in the grand scheme of things.

And frankly, I didn't think Devil's Rejects was as good as House of 1000 Corpses in my opinion.

Since I live about an hour from Mr. Zombie's residence in Connecticut, I think I'll stop by his pad for some Halloween trick or treating, dressed up as Dr. Satan, and I'll drop off my revised script for Devil's Rejects:How It Should Have Ended...ME giving a naked Sherri Moon Zombie a vigorous hot oil massage with rubber gloved hands while Rob fucks a chicken in the background.

Static said...

Oh, by the way...I forgot to mention that Harland Sanders' (also known as The Colonel) statements were released posthumously.

It is rumored that The Colonel, much like Roy the Rooster, spent an entire day in the hen house nailing every single one of the hens, and then he nailed a duck and then a goose at the pond...and he just kept going at it with everything imaginable, including inanimate objects.

The next morning, the farmer found The Colonel lying dead on his property, with his legs sticking up in the air and vultures circling overhead. The farmer asked him, 'Why'd you have to die?'

The Colonel replied, 'Be quiet! They're about to land,' and the sexy time he had with vultures was what caused his fatal heart attack.

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

I saw the DR. I thot it was awe.some. Though in the start, when they're driving to the ranch and they put on those protective-zoot-suits when under fire, c'mon. Did they reeeelly do that? Don't think so. Was it just low-budget, anti-christ krapsody OR sumtin else? You haveta ? the producer, too. Rob Zombie. I mean, in a 50 min flik, where's the fun in knifing a nurse several times? Yawn. But in the end, the being who woks in-N-out of the flames, as if he's like a demon, was weird, but cool. You wouldn't think so by our blog, however. Anyway, I'll shut-up now --- Oh and BTW. We're having a BIG-OL party in Heaven celebrating our resurrection. You're more than welcome --- Static's icon is very, very, VERY cool. God bless you profusely, Static. May the force be with you.

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