Muthaf***in' Crocodiles on a Muthaf***in' Plane

Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:14 pm ET

Chicago, IL (Krapsody) - A crocodile hidden in a passenger's bag onboard a plane escaped prompting FBI agent Neville Flynn to say, "Enough is enough! I have had it with these muthafuckin' crocodiles on this muthafuckin' plane! Everybody strap in, Imma 'bout to open some windows," which he did, causing the plane to crash and kill 19 passengers during a flight over Chicago. Ironically the crocodile survived the crash but was killed moments later when a gust of wind hurtled it towards the Superman: Ultimate Flight ride at Six Flags Great America. Breaking it's neck on impact with the twisted steel track, it probably goes without saying that the croc found out what it’s like to fly like the one-and-only Superman.


8 Comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Stop lampooning the FBI, you Communist. This is what happens when humans panic and lose their team spirit. No crocodile has the stomach for a fight after getting its eye poked.

Static said...

@ Mr. Gorilla Castro: Let's not forget that at one time the FBI considered It's a Wonderful Life subversive "Communist" propaganda because it contained the anti-consumerist message that family, friendship, and virtue are the true definitions of wealth. They felt these ideals smeared American values such as wealth and free enterprise while glorifying "anti-American" values such as the triumph of the common man.

I'd be willing to bet the panicked viewpoints of the FBI as a whole haven't changed so much since J. Edgar Hoover was there. Funny how back then the idea of "team spirit" was "gang up on" the Commies, now it's the Terrorists...or the Socialists..anything to keep people in fear! If these are the values you share then you also sound like a whinger who got poked in the eye with reality. How can anyone be so childishly paranoid to think there's some "communist" plot to CONTROL EVERYONE? It's still a free country...under reactionary rule. =P

But LIFE of course is more than just a Christmas movie, amusement park ride, or overpriced political campaign and if that makes me a pinko commie bastard to some, then so be it.

Kelly said...

Poor Mr. Crocodile. I knew him when he was just a wee lad. So full of promise, was he.

Hmmm... This story you've told sounds strangely familiar... Perhaps I've seen something like this scenario you've so lovingly described in a movie before.

I know. It must be from "Mary Poppins".

Static said...

@7masterheathen =|
Yes...it was Mary muthafuckin' Poppins.

Doctor Handsome said...

I'd feel more comfortable if you'd stick to basic cable profanity, i.e. "Ive had it with these monkey-fighting crocodiles on this Monday-Friday plane!"

Static said...

@sovietdisco (Doc Handsome) Tough fuckin' shit. What do you think this is, muthafuckin' Sesame Street on a muthafuckin' plane? No, it's Muthafuckin' Crocodiles on a Muthafuckin' Plane, muthafucka! There's just not enough emphasis without the cussing involved. I'll adhere to my 'R' rating and content censors can stick it in their ass or change the "channel". Sayonara suckers! =P

Gorilla Bananas said...

J Edgar Hoover was a gay transvestite, but you'd be safer with him in your bed than a crocodile. Deny that if you dare!

Static said...

@ Gorilla Bonaners: The only reasons I'd be safe in bed with either one of them is that J Edgar Hoover is dead and so is the crocodile (which opens up a "ho 'nutha leva" of weird). So what was your point exactly?

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