Jenny: So who is the Easter Bunny, really?
Easter Bunny: I am a part-time test subject for Revlon and I moonlight in the entertainment industry. Maybe you've seen my work in Peter Rabbit, Looney Tunes, and the Cadbury Egg commercial advertisements? I like to talk about myself in third person. Every year near Easter, I preach the words of Jesus and warn children of atheists not to meddle in theology that doesn't belong to them. After these sermons, photo opportunities are generally granted, but only to the pious for $5. My neighbors describe me as "a quiet loner." The rotting corpse of the Energizer Bunny was recently discovered in the Easter Bunny's crawl space. Christ Jebus! Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body. On that note, I have to go now.
p.s. Cadbury Eggs are made from feces of C-list celebrities.