Hangin' with Einstein

Who was Albert Einstein?

Most people know him as the biggest super genius to ever live in this world — even smarter than Stephen Hawking and Al Roker combined.

Albert Einstein (b. 1879 - d. 1955) was a German-American physicist, who won the Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. He was a mathematics professor at the Institute for Advanced Study at Princeton, and a mentor for clowns at Clown University, a private educational institution that was funded by a communist organization.

Ronald McDonald and Ronald Reagan attended and graduated from Clown U and went on to do great things with the knowledge they acquired there.

Yes, well, back to Einstein; he's best known for his equation E = mc(pooted) the ass–energy equivalence, the relativity theory on flatulence, and the famous "Einstein sticking out his tongue — no thanks I use toilet paper" gag as well as the "pull my finger" gag. So basically, he was well known for his fart jokes.

In wider culture the name "Einstein" has become synonymous with genius, wild unkempt hair, and the "pull my finger" gag.

Einstein as a child was not a “smart” student. He was actually unable to speak fluently until he was 12 years old. He was a naughty boy with unruly hair. His disturbing behavior made him troublesome in his class and out of school, where most of his peers and their parents considered him to be a real “Rotterdam Rotter”, or a "Rabble-rouser".

It was during this low point of Einstein's life that he invented the "pull my finger" gag, which impressed all the old geezers, and ushered in decades of entertainment for young children and old geezers alike. Okay, maybe just for the old geezers.

Once he graduated from high school, he became a celebrated musician and slapstick comedian. But being an incorrigible kleptomaniac, he stole his bandmate's tuba and his friend's jokes, and was kicked out of the entertainment business.

Einstein knows how to party


That's why Einstein returned to academics and soon showed off just how intelligent he was. And boy was he intelligent. Oh, look, there's a cluster of H2O molecules on your dermis. See, pretty smart innit?

Despite his reputation as a brainiac, Albert Einstein was very well known for his sense of humor, and sometimes taunted his teachers and later his fellow colleagues. You could say he was a smartass since he had such a way with words.

He was able to explain something difficult with simple illustration, and sometimes it sounded funny too. Particularly when he used his "pull my finger" gag to illustrate a point. In fact, his "pull my finger" gag was so well known that people would request it at seasonal gatherings, like Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

Once, during a press conference, Einstein asked a reporter to "pull my finger" and the result is known as "Hiroshima".

And that, my friends, is how the atomic bomb was invented.

The end.

E=mc(pooted)



5 COMMENTS:

Timothy Hecht said...

The "Pull my Finger" gag is a classic now. I have used it myself although it wasn't always a finger being pulled.

Uh, what were we talking about?

Gorilla Bananas said...

He didn't deserve any credit for the A-bomb, that was just his ego talking. But he did say "I vill a little tink", which is quite funny.

Static said...

@Timothy - Gosh, I'm not surprised. No, not surpised at all that your "Pull My Big Toe" gag is your crowning achievement, since it's also your longest appendage. As they say, "there are NO coincidences." :P

Static said...

@Mr. Bananas - How many times must I remind you to not educate my readers. They're already blindly following me and my misinformations. Stop trying to help and respect my authoritie! :P

p.s. I believe what Einstein said was "I haves a little dink," which is hilarious.

Static said...

Einstein was also quoted as saying, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― so basically people are infinitely stupid (and ignorant and like being that way it would seem). :)

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