Do Dinosaurs Believe in Christians?

Sun, Mar 23, 2008

Easter Island (Krapsody) - Since Easter is here once again, what better time than to ask another burning question that has been on the minds of great thinkers from far and wide - this occurred to me as I stumbled across a lengthy, quarrelsome and hilarious discussion on regarding whether or not Christians believe in dinosaurs. In lieu of challenging logically unanswerable questions answered with meaningless statements, I've decided to turn the tables and ask: Do dinosaurs believe in Christians?

The central focus of this debate is whether or not dinosaurs have any concept of....anything really. The Krapsody team hit the streets, but unfortunately, they were unable to find any dinosaurs to interview. It seems that dinosaurs are in fact extinct.

Representatives of the scientific community declined to comment and did not return our calls.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Easter Bunny were also conveniently unavailable.

Members of various Christian communities laughed at us, made demands on us to take their pamphlets, used their persuasive hell and brimstone argument to manipulate the team to give donations to their organizations, and forced us to join in their prayer groups by seducing us with their "Cumbayá" singsong.

However, an unidentified individual known only as "der Strumpet", emailed us this photo that clearly shows Jesus walking on water before some dumbfounded dinosaurs who apparently witnessed the event.

In spite of this startling new evidence, it is still unknown whether or not this event actually made a difference in the minds of atheist dinosaurseseses (emphasis added as there were so many dinosaurs) - but the Krapsody team thinks it's quite possible that it resulted in their extinction.

Jesus was unavailable to comment.

Raptor Jesus in Arkansas contributed to this story.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

An irresponsible headline! No ref. to dinosaurs believing in christians. I was funny, but not substantiated, therefore should not be used!

Static said...

Hey, ok, you're the boss.

Wait, no you're not. And I can be funny if I want. Screw you and your mixed signals. Look at this site - point out one responsible headline! Find one and I'll fix it.

Also, prove it's not true. I have $10 that says at least one - if not a dozen - of those dinosaurs hoped - juuust a little - that Jesus would have saved them. Although they probably needed it less than most people seem to.

Responsible?! How dare you crazydad.

Now shoo! Smells like your cookies are done anyway. Scat! Go not laugh on some boring old news site or pester another blogger whose posts you cannot agree with since you have nothing better to do.

Shoo I say! And take the chihuahua with you.

Note: Buddy jesus approves of my post.

El Gavino's Pineal Gland said...

Der Strumpet. Nice. I have pet names now? Cheers, fuck muffin.

Eric Brooks said...

I dunno. That brontosaurus has that same dumbfounded look watching Jesus walk on water as i did when Criss Angel did it. Or when I'm presented with an egg salad sandwich... whichever comes first.

Teh Evil Penguin said...

Unfortunately, Christians never come around my icy little neck of the woods anymore. Maybe it has something to do with every single male of the last missionary team that showed up (around 1979, I believe) being forcibly sodomized with phallus-shaped icicles and sent back to Kansas without the courtesy of a reacharound or a kiss on the neck. The women were so turned on that an impromptu lesbian orgy took place. There was more fish ate that night than what I usually eat within three month's time.

Also, the whole praying to Raptor Jesus and me chomping Fred Phelps's brother's head off for His reptilian glory wasn't well received, either.

Static said...

@VoteElGavino Der Strumpet is a harlot I met in Amsterdam. But now you've blown her cover, and all because you thought I had a pet name for you other than "fuck puppet".

Static said...

@EricBrooksCom Egg salad would bewilder anyone. Coincidentally, Jesus invented the same exact magic trick Criss Angel uses to walk on water: Flatulence built up from egg salad sandwiches.

Static said...

@TehEvilPenguin Sounds like you gave them the grand tour and threw in a little fun and excitement with a few unplanned activities they'll never forget. You can't fit all that awesomeness on a pamphlet. All hail Raptor Jesus.

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