Why Bush Stopped Golfing

President Bush in an interview with Politico Chief Political Correspondent Mike Allen announced that he has decided to stop playing golf, get this, because he doesn't want some mother of a son who died serving the military in Iraq to see him golfing. He'd much rather reminisce about being caught playing with his inaugural balls in the oval office.

Witness the President's last swing, "now watch this drive..."

What he's claiming essentially is that he has morals and a conscience. Hurricane Katrina in retrospect, I guess he realizes while he and Papa Bush were out fishing after that disaster that there are bigger things to concern themselves with. Afterall, he has to keep up appearances, right?

Dance Whiteboy Dance!
Bush stand-up comedy

As usual Bush stumbled, stuttered and skirted around issues such as the price of oil, the war in Iraq, and whether he likes plaid or solid colors with the usual rhetoric that makes no sense unless you are a mental patient who has just been lobotomized. Then his use of logic and the english language might actually make perfect sense.

You can catch the full webcast videos which appeared on Yahoo yesterday here and the entire transcript from the interview can be read here.

Some other witty quotes from the interview:

Q Mr. President, we understand you had a little homework assignment, you watched Steve Martin's "Father of the Bride."

THE PRESIDENT: I did. (Laughter.)

Q Did you pick up any tips there?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, which is to write the check and be happy.

Q Mr. President, ......I wonder if we could ask a question from one of our users, Steve Bailey, of New York, who says: With oil at $126 a barrel, pushing up the price of everything -- even food -- what can your administration do to help people right now?

THE PRESIDENT: I appreciate Steven's concerns. With the price of gasoline going up, it's like a tax. I wish I could give Steven a quick answer. In other words, it took us a while to get to where we are -- very dependent on oil, and in a world in which demand is greater than oil. So my answer to Steven is that the best thing we can do is to increase supply, and to drill for oil and gas in environmentally friendly ways at home, and build more refineries. Steven probably doesn't know this, but we haven't built a new refinery since 1976, and if we're truly interested in relieving the pressure on our consumers, then we ought to have a very active domestic policy now.

Q Mr. President, for the record, is global warming real?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, it is real, sure is. But the solutions -- having said that, the solutions have got to be measured and realistic -- you can't have a solution to global warming unless China and India are part of any international pact. It's one of the reasons I didn't accept what's called the Kyoto Protocol, and therefore was labeled as anti-environment. I'm a realistic guy. If the major emitters of greenhouse gases are not a part of a solution, then those who are part of a solution are acting in a way that's simply not going to -- it will affect their own economies, but it won't affect the overall global warming issue.

So, yes, I put forth a very realistic, straightforward program that makes sense.

lil John What?!

This lame interview prompted one reader to respond, "Well, for an interview that was supposed [to] answer "our" questions about what is going on, there was so much fluff, I thought a marshmellow [sic] plant exploded. Baseball, golf, Father of the Bride!!! Come on!!!"

Pretty much sums it up.

Bush attacked by russian circus bear


Gorilla Bananas said...

He's very popular in Africa because of strong stand against the mosquito. I'm not surprise they invited him to participate in the jungle dance.

Anonymous said...

I don't know whether to laugh, or develop a headache...

Jack Payne said...

Aw, c'mon, Stataic, get off the poor guys back. He's a dyslexic. Winston Churchill was a dyslexic. You act kinda disjointed too at times, kinda dyslexic-like. He's leaving office in 8 months. Get off his back. You'll soon have somebody else to verbally torture.

Static said...

Gorilla Bananas - He should invest an amount of his income to study the mosquitos habits then. Perhaps discovering a new treatment for malaria and a cure for white men who can't dance in the process.

Pentad - Both. First get a headache and then relieve it by laughing, which is all one can do until November.

Jack Payne - Jack. Jackaroon. Jacko. Jacques. Jackson 5. Jackamo fee na nay. You're kidding right? Your comments seem disjointed and written for dyslexics. I apparently struck a nerve. Or perhaps we have a misunderstanding. I'm sorry. But were you trying to argue something of importance with an ad hominem attack? Because I missed your point. Not because I am dyslexic, far from it. I have no learning disabilities other than completely understanding how someone with a personality disorder becomes president of the United States.

Einstein was dyslexic, he was also a gifted man. But how does Bush even compare to Churchill? How would dyslexia explain Bush's behavior? Are you saying that a learning disability makes one act irrational, disjointed or even unintelligent when there are conventional methods of dealing with learning disabilities successfully nowadays? That's a rather debasing opinion of persons who have such a disability. I don't think one could become president with any pronounced learning disability unless they knew important people. Oh wait, Bush does. But that's not it entirely.

Seriously though, Bush, dyslexic? I think not. That's unfounded, Vanity Fair tried to spin that tale in 2000. Show me genuine evidence that supports that theory. I hardly believe dyslexia would be the cause of, or even be a good comparison to a speech impediment nor what is most likely a Short Attention Span and sociopathic behavior. Genetics, environment, drug and alcohol use, poor education, impatience, not thinking and not paying attention however, possibly are.

Jack, I haven't even begun to "verbally torture" this "poor" transparent man who for example has murdered thousands including many of our own men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan. Not to mention his other behavioral faux pas. The word "poor" hardly describes him as he suffers from arrogance and he's hardly a victim with the poor choices he's made as president. A good person and a real man admits when he's wrong or made mistakes. He doesn't act defiant or like a know it all when confronted with their shortcomings. Only then does one earn respect.

I'm not an unsympathetic or unreasonable person. However, I've voted, paid taxes and have an opinion too. It's a free country where I can express it at will.
Besides it's my blog and I'll publish what I want to. Have I tried to tell you to lay off those "poor" con men you write about who maybe are simply trying to put food on their families [table]? It doesn't mean it's right. The real con man is in the white house, my friend. Look, if I decide to publish a post about a ridiculous correlation between verbal diarrhea and constipation of the bowels, (sort of like a ridiculous correlation between being disjointed and dyslexic) I'll do so. And you'll like it. Trust me, there is an element of humor in almost anything and if you've missed it then perhaps you're limiting yourself. =P

So how about this? No, I shan't "get off his back". So hit the road Jack. Just kidding, I don't really want you to, but that's your choice. No, I rather like the view from up here for one. In fact I'll be firmly attached to his back, much like a turtle and it's shell, only a bit more grotesque. Picture a hunchback with a conjoined twin. A hulking monstrosity moving slowly towards a podium. I'll speak only to translate his english for him when he pokes his pasty white face from under his shell and utters his jibberish of broken sentences, incomplete thoughts and nonsensical reasoning.

As far as being disjointed, (confused, disoriented) if that is how I come across, I have alot in common with Bush and have my appearances to keep up as well, for comedic effect, really. I am seemingly disjointed to you in print, but am not so two-dimensional in real life. I am multi...no, infinitely-dimensional if you will. Oooh, IMAGINE that Jack! Just because you may be the sole substance of what you write on your blog does not necessarily apply to me or anyone else. Maybe your sense of humor needs reevaluation.

If I would have asked Churchill for his opinions, I would have "verbally tortured" him, as you put, only if I didn't agree with any blatant inhumane points of view he may have. Not simply because he held office, was dyslexic or because his pants didn't match his tie. Claiming I am verbally torturing someone implies I would have to resort to baseless arguments and childish name calling and demean someone to make a point. Maybe simply because they are a public servant as you also implied. I think my points are crystal. Unless one is myopic. Or has a short attention span, are ya still with me?

Criticism is the nature of public service or blogging anyway, Jack. It's a hard job and by golly people who hold any public office should live up to it and do what's best for it's citizens, instead of what is best for their own pocketbook, shady dealings or ideals. Blogging is somewhat different in that regard. All the same, logically, Murphy's Law dictates one should be prepared to meet with disapproval, when they act contrary to what they appear(ed) to stand for or when they express their opinions. If I took everything remarked to me too seriously I would have given up a long time ago. Is this too much? =D

Oh my.

Stay tuned! Next week I not only berate a nazi war criminal for claiming the holocaust never occured, but I also pluck out his toenails with a pair of pliers in front of a panel of appalled neo-cons. Just for giggles! =D
p.s. feel free to start writing your preemptive attacks now folks...

Anonymous said...

Little known fact: Most Nazi's were dyslexic - when will you and the words get off the backs of those poor innocent nazis, static?

Anonymous said...

That youtube video of GW reminded me of Reagan and the threat of nuclear war growing up in the early eighties .. a scary similarity!!
I think he and GW are just idiots who spent too much time sniffing glue and watching Golden Girls

Lol dyslexia!!
You could have maybe shortened your comment down to a simple shut up and go screw

Anonymous said...

Shnacker shnaw!

Anonymous said...

It appears to me that maybe Bush has attention deficit disorder not dyslexia.
He seems scattered unfocused and doesn't seem to have the ability to grasp certain details.
Politicians and their policies are supposed to ALWAYS be open for debate. So is scientific theory.
The very nature of science is that any theory is not yet settled and arguable.
Even some of Einsteins theories have been proven wrong. If his theories are not considered "sacred" why should theories about global warming or religious beliefs or any other theory be absolute too?
The other thing that bothers me is Bush constantly says Americans are addicted to oil.
Which puts the blame and responsibility on society and it's citizens and not the industry that supplies a non-renewable energy resource which is claimed to be responsible for global warming.

Anonymous said...

Bush is the greatest president ever! You are heedful and diabolic Static

Static said...

K - Never. I will bugger them all with a broomstick. And when that one breaks, I'll just get another broomstick and continue where I left off.
There are 8 months left so I have plenty of work ahead of me. =P

GB - The threat was pretty real too. I watched a documentary the other evening about the Soviet Union and the Cold War. They were just as prepared for a nuclear confrontation as the U.S. was. Although I can't imagine eating canned Borsch for months on end in a fallout shelter.

To address your last remarks, I wouldn't want to shorten my response to Jack by dropping down to that level. Anyway, I think, at least I am hoping he was kidding as he has said he thinks my sense of humor is sheer lunacy, but he loves every last ounce of it. Unless I actually offended him, and he really thinks I am dyslexic, cliched and a lunatic which is actually pretty funny, but that's also really pitiful as I thought he could see through Bush's cons or my sense of humor enough to overlook my mere opinion. I thought he'd be a bigger person than to accost me with baseless comments and verbally torture me like I would change my opinions, if he actually meant it that way. To each their own.

Mr Pregnant - Mister Preggers. Long time, long time. How are the cockroaches? Have they been paying you rent for occupying the entirety of your apartment. Pretty soon they will join together and post a video on YouTube of them tying you up and holding you for ransom. I only hope the YouTube community will come to your rescue.

nasalflute - Oh, poopchute, tsk, tsk! I see my post has been drawing garden variety trolls and hecklers with their constant craving and need for attention, their negative commentary, and dishing out personal attacks without really knowing someone. All because they don't agree with their opinions or like something about them. Wow, how pathetic and childish. You only display your ignorance when you resort to such tactics. I think it was best said, "shut up and go screw".

Static said...

AnoDez - You have a very good point that Bush might have ADD, all the symptoms seem to strongly indicate your claim. I suppose we'll never truly know or if we do find out it will be many years before any light is shed on what is wrong with him. Perhaps he was dropped on his head, SEVERAL times. Or he ate paint chips as a child. Maybe he consulted L. Ron Hubbard's ghost and had to hand over the part of his brain which is responsible for logical and rational thought to become Xenu in the flesh. I can see this will drag on and on for years.

Anonymous said...

You tell them stat!
At this point i think lil john would make a better president lol!!

GetSmartGal said...

Great blog...thanks for the insightful and rather humorous commentary. I can't wait to check out the rest of it.

Static said...

Mike - Thanks for stopping by and sharing your opinion. I believe if Lil John did make an announcement he's running for president, the country would be quoted as yelling, "YEEE-AH!"

Bridget - Thanks for stopping by Bridget. Feel free to drop in anytime. Krapsody is much like a 24 hour gas station, where burnouts of all types can pull in, fill up, defecate on the bathroom floor, stock up on junk and carcinogenic compounds and leave feeling relieved or taken advantage of.

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