Net Neutrality or Net Reality?

As supporters of net neutrality come up with new and improved ways to spread the word that includes everything from the net neutrality bill, the usual propaganda, petitions, guerilla marketing attempts and some other inventive ideas that simply verge on the absurd. Oh yes. Always be prepared for that.

Tania Derveaux is a prime example of the absurd step netizens have taken to save the internet. I'm only telling you because I care.

tania derveaux net neutrality

Tania professes on her web page, Don't Stay a Virgin;
I will make love with every virgin who defends the Internet.

The question is... How many virgins are on the internet? And how would one prove that any ordinary male is a virgin? Is there a litmus test for that? Is this a prank?
I'm sure there are plenty of horn-dogs just waiting to save the internet now. They are lined up around the block 100 times over!

horny nerd
"Skype me if you're horny."

horny nerd too
This one's horny too.

Miss Derveaux’s way of limiting those queuing up to bonk her to a manageable number will definitely FAIL. And she knows it. She highly underestimates the number of virgins found on the net... or maybe she doesn't. This is a complete dichotomy.

No male can prove his virginity, not even if he meets the stereotype of a virgin and is a premature ejaculator or clumsy in bed, because 90% of men probably meet that criteria.

However, Miss Derveaux is obviously business savvy and a master manipulator. Getting hundreds if not thousands of pitiful men to sign up for the cause of net neutrality just so they may have a glimpse of Miss Derveaux's creamy thighs definitely works to her advantage and possibly ours as well...

The Japing Ape has a quaint story about her lurid technique to garner attention for the cause.

Well Tania's idea is all fine and good. I would like to point out if you are going to support net neutrality simply for sexual expression, the object of desire is more often than not pure eye candy, but in supporting the cause then be prepared to see just as much of the opposite too.

net reality

Be sure to get tested for a long list of STDs, Miss Derveaux.
This means you too, pervert. =)


Gorilla Bananas said...

Don't discount the possibility that she's a shrewd business woman. This stunt got her a mention in the national press in the UK. She's going to end up with the e-mail addresses of thousands of horny young men, who might be future customers for her unknown sponsors.

Sully Sullivan said...

I think it's time the virgins of the online world catch a break, and boy oh boy what a break it is. If I had a choice, though, I'd take the fat one. She makes a mean quesadilla.

Anonymous said...

I'm a virgin!!!

My parents got a small piece of dirt put on my bits when I was a kid. I can't do anything with them or the dirt gets rubbed off.

I gots a certificate I tell you!

Although that tasty piece at the end did strange things to me, static. I think it might be 'my time'

Soge shirts said...

Only on the internet would this majestic contest take place. That poor lady is going to have all the costumed nerds i referred to in my star wars vs star trek blog lined up around the blog. That is going to be one sore nerd filled vajajay.

Static said...

GB - I totally agree, she is quite the business person. She is gaining notoriety and soon will be able to charge for her services.

Sully - I think that last picture is a mean quesadilla. There's enough cheese there to make a giant quiche lorraine stuffed inside a mongo wheel of cheese packed into a barrel of government cheese dipped in a vat of fondue with a schmear on top.

Rich - I think you may need professional help. Quickly now. LULZ!

Soges - I'm thinkin' those are going to be some sore nerds... from all the fapping they are going to do to themselves. =)

GetSmartGal said...

I thought the blog was interesting, totally male, and quite funny-now that I see the comments it makes the blog that much better! You need to put some of these comments in your post-too funny!

Static said...

Bridget - I will somehow work the comments into future posts perhaps, but I think they are fine as the colorful commentary they are which just adds some really cool vibes to my blog. If it weren't for everyone's feedback this would not be quite as fun as it is. Thanks!

W - I certainly think that is possible, Tania could be a guy for that matter, just like this!


Jack Payne said...

Yeah, Static, if this gal is shopping to compile a list of eager your horn dogs, she knows what she's doing.

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