Separated at birth?

We're all different, right? I beg to differ. Just take one look around the celebrity landscape and you'll see what I mean. Well praise be - many a celebrity has got a doppelganger! Let's have a look at some of the top contenders for whom may have been separated from whom at birth in some sort of cruel science experiment.

american pie holes
Adam Sandler & Jason Biggs

Why they look like they could almost be twins don't they? I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Jason Biggs hasn't punched Bob Barker once or twice in his career. Similarly, I also wouldn't be surprised to hear that Adam Sandler had glued his hand to his genitals. Keep your hands where we can see 'em guys.

horse tooth
Joey Ramone & Howard Stern

What can I say here. They are both hideously ugly and are dead ringers for each other (no pun Joey). And I think Howard could use some 'Psychotherapy' in addition to a serious face makeover, he truly has a face meant for radio.

sex with donkeys
Dennis Leary & Willem Dafoe

Another pair unequaled in ugliness. Both share the same gap in their front teeth. Maybe David Letterman is their father. And only one hella-ugly mother could give birth to these two and this much ugliness, right? That is why they have to be related.

Bono & Robin Williams

They are both short and hairy like russian bear. They are also both very rich (ok, overpaid) celebrities. They seem to be united on human rights issues. And I believe they are both from the planet Ork. Totally separated at birth. In fact I think they were conjoined twins, they shared the same ass.

Cameron Diaz & Helena Christensen

One's a b-movie actress and the other is a fashion model. Also conjoined twins. They shared the same brain and currently share custody of one frontal lobe. 'Nuff said?

furry rodent porn
Elijah Wood & Daniel Radcliffe

These two have fantasy movies in common. They also have hairy hobbit feet. And share a hairy hobbit foot fetish porn site. It's true, look it up. Google, do you use it?!

Zach Braff & Ray Romano

Zach is like a younger version of Ray, or Ray is just an older version of Zach. Yeah? They both have similar personalities also. Very... bland. Also very dry, like a popcorn fart in the desert.

Actress Thora Birch and River Cottage's Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

My gawd. The existence of such exact duplicates has caused the entire universe to come to a halt. Why? How can this be?! Thora is hawt, but Hugh not so much. Makes you wonder if somebody peed or took a huge dump in the gene pool, doesn't it?

eat ass Jackos
Jacko & Jack White

Jack and Jacko. I can't tell the difference here. Can someone tell me who is who?

Shrek & Patrick Stewart

I think Shrek looks much more like BB King. However, would disagree.

Kung Fu Panda Celebrity Look-alikes

Can't be bothered to name names here. Judge for yourself. But, Po the Panda is one of the laziest animals in all of the Valley of Peace. And his look-alikes probably are too. Except for the Dalai Lama, don't be dissing the Lama.

butt pluggz
Washington Wizards forward Caron Butler
& the Creature from the Black Lagoon

I'm scared. Seriously, another sequel to Creature From The Black Lagoon could be made with Butler sans makeup and no one would be the wiser.

fucking weird shit
Lion-o & Carrot Top

The resemblance OVERALL in this last one is uncanny isn't it? Thundercats HO!


Celebrity doppelganger insiders have brought this one to my attention...
Senator John Elmo McFuddSenator Johner Elmo McCafudd
Senator and presidential hopeful candidate John McCain & Bugs Bunny nemesis Elmer Fudd

HOLY CWAP! Spitting images of one another. "Shhhhhhhh, be vewwwy, vewwwy quiet; I'm hunting wabbits on Kwapsody, huhuhuhuhuh!"

Click here for Kill the Wabbit song.

The question is should he change his name to John McFudd, Elmer McCain, Elmo McFain or Johmer McCudd? Come up with a few of your own names for him in your comments please.

09/02/09 UPDATE!

Since I was reminded of this post by an Anonymous commenter a couple weeks ago, I remembered a pair of celebrity lookalikes that not only lookalike in real life, BUT the characters they've portrayed in unrelated projects are so alike it's UNCANNY!!!!

Case in point:

Jeff Daniels and his character Harry Dunne, the dog groomer; Lloyd's roommate; quite possibly the dumber half in "Dumb And Dumber"
dumb and dumber

Dave Coulier and his character Joey Gladstone, the buffoon; the couch surfer; the comic relief; the doofy guy who always tried to talk like Bullwinkle to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen on the TV series "Full House"
Full House

And let's not forget this pair of EXACT LOOKALIKES...

Donatella Versace and Kermit The Frog



Gorilla Bananas said...

Shrek has got to be related to Buster Bloodvessel. If the Duke of Wellington were alive, he'd watch The Mask, meet Cameron Diaz and declare: "She's grown damned ugly, by God".

Static said...

Gorilla Bananas - The Duke of Wellington is alive and well. He is currently having a threesome with Carrot Top and Shrek. Guess who's a top and who's a bottom?

Anonymous said...

I have long thought Zach Braff & Ray Romano to be alien clones sent to earth on some evil mission. now this is proff. All celebrities have been wheeled out to destroy us like in that film dark city. except for... most of it...


Sully Sullivan said...

Howard Stern and Joey Ramone...that one is bang on.

Ms. O. D. said...


Bono and Robbin Williams, uncanny when you put them next to each other, especially with the *Orange* glasses. How about Nick Nolte and Gary Bussey?

McFUD sounds good... and The Wabbit Song is going into my ipod!

Chelle Blögger said...

My celebrity look alikes include Scarlett Johansen, Anna Kournikova and Michelle Pfeiffer.

I don't see the resemblance, but I'll take it! :)

Anonymous said...

I think I vote for this NRA candidate Johmer McCudd.

Free shot gun shells and rabbit stew for anyone over 13!

Anonymous said...

I think I vote for this NRA candidate Johmer McCudd.

Free shot gun shells and rabbit stew for anyone over 13!

crpitt said...

How on earth have you even heard of Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall? Is he on telly your side of the pond?

Soge shirts said...

That was hilarious static. Nice work. The lookalikes were solid but the commentary stole the show.

Static said...

Rich - You were on to something there with Dark City, it was definitely all of it. Evile Celebrities are going to ruin us all.

Static said...

Sully - I haven't gotten to Bert and Ernie compared to Siskel and Ebert yet.

Static said...

OD - Yep, Bono and Robin a couple peas in a pod.
Nick Nolte and Gary Busey are only alike in the sense that they are roughed up and complete scumbags, no other similarities exist between them. =P
That song is playing on my iPod 24/7!

Static said...

Chelle - You are one red hot milf.

Static said...

Threio - I knew you were a sell out. Anyone who bans cheese has to have a screw loose. Have fun eating McFudd's three month old bland rabbit stock in a cave dripping with bat guano. You corporate-ass- kissing government cheese lovin' munchkin.

Static said...

Claire - Hello? It's called cable. The scourge of america. Three hundred channels of absolute shit from all over the planet. Although it has to beat your four channels of shit you guys in the UK get. =P

Static said...

Soges - Always a pleasure. Believe me I could have elaborated much more, however I felt it necessary to tone it and to wittle it down to a reasonably short post. This time.

Jeannette E. Spaghetti said...

I was once told, by a homeless man, that I bear a stark resemblance to Jodi Foster. Helen Hunt, she's another actress I've been compared to.

Static said...

Jeanette - those aren't bad comparisons. Take me for example, people have said I look like;
a) an elephant's arse
b) Ernest Borgnine
c) Ernest Borgnine's arse
d) a nob

Anonymous said...

Obviously, Wacko Jacko laid down some "white stripes" on White's mother, Teresa Gillis.

Renée Hand said...

You are hilarious, as always. My favorite is definitely Adam Sandler/Jason Biggs. Yay Jews!

Static said...

Qel - You mean Jacko donated sperm samples for in vitro fertilization and IS in fact Jack's daddy?

Renee - Why thank you. Flattery will win you my heart. I'm feeling all verklempt now. Oy!

Anonymous said...

Elijah Wood and Daniel Radcliffe do not look alike. For one Daniel is actually good looking and does not look like a pedophile, for a second, they have different color of hair and Elijah I swear is gay. (I have nothing against gays but I HATE Elijah Wood)

Static said...

@ Anonymous - I disagree, Elijah Wood and Daniel Radcliffe do lookalike.

Different color hair is one of your arguments? Do you have any siblings, or have any friends with siblings that share all the same EXACT traits? Not likely.

Elijah, gay? Who cares?! Maybe you're gay. Maybe I am. Who cares!
If you have nothing against gays, why do you care if Elijah is gay?
That's the most absurd argument or reasoning for disliking someone I've ever read.

Although, I concede Elijah and Danny are not exact lookalikes, they do resemble each other enough to possibly be brothers, or related in such a manner that inbreeding isn't out of the question..something which you may know something or two about perhaps?

Static said...

@ Anonymous - How ya like me now "Anonymous"?

I'm sure you'll have some clever remarks that these specimens aren't lookalikes either.

Such as Jeff and Dave looking nothing alike because they're heterosexual and blond; and then something about Kermit being a gay muppet and Donatella being..well..a man in drag or something like that, right?

PFFT! Dweeb.

Anonymous said...

Elijah wood is not gay, he had a girlfriend

Static said...

@ Anonymous: Thanks for your insightful remark -- As if having a girlfriend is a clear indication of not being gay! For example, how many gay men have had girlfriends, exactly? A LOT. Happens more often than you know...obviously.

I'll give a few more examples, since Captain Obvious (that's me) has to state the obvious for persons who haven't quite got it yet:

1) Some of those men are, or were, unaware or unsure of their sexuality

2) or they're aware but still in the closet / they are curious-bicurious-try anything once curious

3) met a woman they accidentally on purpose had sex with because she threw herself at them constantly, and well, they were both drunk and now they have a kid together...Oh, well. Now their kid will be scarred for life...or not.

Hey, I could go on and on. SRSLY. But you get the point don't you?

You don't, do you? (Sigh)

Okay, it's like, you cannot know from appearances exclusively, without a reasonable doubt, whether or not someone is gay for sure...unless it's Richard Simmons or Jude Law we're talkin' about. THEN you know for sure that those two are TOTALLY gay!

Knowhutimean!? :D

...You still don't, do you?

Static said...

And the key word in your comment was Elijah Wood "HAD" a girlfriend -- now everyone knows he HAS a boyfriend...

Dominic Monaghan.

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