Static's World Domination Plan: Awards and Merits

As I watched someone trip over a gummy bear and fall, I rubbed my fingers together all giddily and whispered, "Excellent... everything is going as planned as in my... plan... plan B!"

Then I started chuckling, and when I couldn't hold in my perverse joy any longer, I laughed out loud, "Muahahahaha!!!" Plan B has started. I will rule the world and no one is going to stop ME!

"Hey! Get back to work, what are you doing giggling like a little girl?" -boss.
Oh, right. O_o. *sighs* Damn.

This has been a long time coming. THE KRAPSODY BLOG! - New and improved like botox injections in your arse!(I mean your face) Hey, I am actually popular for once in my life!

Weird isn't it?
It's not like this blog sucks is well written (it is), really funny (it is), written by a genius (it is), or deserves a Nobel Peace Prize (it does).

Enough about me. This is all about the awards and recognition I have received in the past few weeks. So this really is about me after all. Never mind. Let's get on with it, shall we?


The Angry Clown has bestowed me with the Hell Award for Evilness. Edit: Incidentally, I am also a co-author on the site.

According to Angry Clown creator, Damian;

Everyone is making there own awards so i thought i will make one for evilness I haven't seen any around for it and as everybody knows you don't get awarded enough for badness these days, so here it is.
There are only 5 rules you must follow if you win this prize:
  1. You have to show the link of the blog/s that awarded you the HELL AWARD.
  2. You must award this prize to at least 3 other blogs and show there links and names.
  3. The award must be linked back to ANGRY CLOWN
  4. All awards must be deserved.
  5. The rules must be shown with the award.

The names of the thirdysecondlyfirst winning blogs EVAR are...
  1. : Qelqoth from The Cult of Qelqoth if anyone deserves the Hell Award it would be TCOQ very funny reading and lots of useful info on gardening!
  2. : Jeff Mann from Not What It Used To Be an awesomely entertaining newer blog started in June 2008 about Jeff Mann's musings on the krapness of modern life with a dash of rosemary from Qelqoth's garden!
  3. : Julius Bloop from Julius Bloop - Comedy for Weirdos I've been a long time fan of this comedy randomness blog. And Jolene Bloop is hot!
  4. : Ms. Orange Derange from Orange Derange Pronunced: ˈo-ren-jē di-ren-jē. It's one of the best blogs about celebrities and general observational humor I've seen around. Ms. Derange is one talented girl (and hot... hot as a HELL AWARD). Check it out.

(If your worried about this being a "meme" then you would be right but thats all part of being eviiiillllll)


Additionally, Lord Likely of The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely also presented me with an award recently, The Golden Cock of Excellence Award! BEHOLD it's excellence!

Note: not actual size

Many thanks to Lord Likely for even considering this flophouse for such as esteemed honor. If his Lordship and his fandom would care to stop in, I would offer them the best room in the house. The one without all the rats and stained mattresses. So thank you Lord Likely for presenting us your spurting likeness!


And speaking of spurting, Ms. Oranged Deranged made a fantastic video for me! I created the music from some samples that I remixed aeons ago, and she came up with the animation. We plan on doing a version in the very near future that will be even better than this one (if that is possible), so stay tuned for that!

Deconstructing ~Static~ Brainstorming Session #2


Deconstructing ~Static~ Brainstorming Session #2, rough draft #2

Original music by ~Static~

produced and animated at ~Static~'s School of Disembodied Poetics, University of Antarctica.


My long time friends Matthias, The Boy David, Sir Paul of The Arnoldover and sometimes Lord Nevets over at The Snot... The UK's Premier Twisted Satire Source (it's all about the hype y'know) dropped me a line recently that The Snot is back once again! If you didn't know already The Snot is a British satirical website that first surfaced in 2001. The site gained notoriety for being offensive and often containing libelous material. One of the sites best loved features were the 'reporters', whose names were spoonerisms. (Google it)

... The UK's Premier Twisted Satire Source

They went offline in 2006 for nearly two years, if I remember correctly (my memory is horrid; especially when I've been huffing kittens). However, in March 2008, it was decided that The Snot should live again, albeit in simplified and slightly toned down form.
And I am honored that they contacted 'lil ol' me to spread the word. So werd up to yo muthas; yo!


And finally, Chelle B of Offended Blogger added me to a new blog community
Humor Bloggers dot com the #1 social community for humor bloggers and the best directory of humor blogs on the net. A collaborative effort between her, Don "It's a Funny Thing" Lewis and Bee of the infamously funny Bee's Musings.

Humor Bloggers dot com the #1 social community for humor bloggers and the best directory of humor blogs on the net

I feel honored to be a part of their site and hope you will pay them a visit and me some respect by hitting my links at least a thousand times this week. Bettah recognize biatches.
I thank you! I thank you all for being so kind, and gentle (be gentle). Insert more gratuitous and surreal compliments here.



Angry_Clown said...

Yes soon you will be rich as rich as a monkey that can unlock doors and figure out complex security systems then the world will be ours yours!

I don't wanna sound gay but If I were I'd totally do you.

The Humor Bloggers said...

Thanks for pimping the new site, it is filling up quickly!

Oh, and if I may say so, you now have QUITE a lovely cock.

In fact, I may just stay here a while and stare dreamily at it.

Then again, I just approved Lord Likely's membership at and I bet he has one just like it over there. :)

Ms. O. D. said...

Congrats on the acceptance into Humorbloggers! And receiving the Hell Award! and the Golden one too... i'm a little envious of that one. :P

Fanton said...


I am very glad to see my lovely cock on display.

I will take that room henceforth, my good man. You may leave the rats, as I believe they will prove to be a perfect snack for my wretched man-servant.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on all of your awards. Man, you've got some heavy farting going on in that video...must have taken the wind right out of ya! Keep up all the good work.

Static said...

@Damian - Why, I am a monkey that can unlock doors and pick locks, not to mention I can figure out complex security systems; like the "bucket-of-water-hung-over-the-top-of-the-door-attached-to-a-string-connected-to-the-inside-door-handle-that-splashes-the-bucket-of-water-upon-your-head-upon-opening-the-door" security system, ...erm.. etc!

Too bad my talents haven't made me a single penny...

Btw, if you're totally gay (which you are), that is ok. Accept it, make peace with it, come out and keep your hands off my butt please. Ok.. maybe you can leave it there for a moment longer, but you have to at least buy me dinner or I don't put out, big boy.

Static said...

@Chelle - 'Twas my pleasure! You didn't like my cock before today? What was wrong with it, was it not golden enough for you? Was the fact it was 20 times larger than the one depicted here a problem? Well, fear no more. I have stopped taking Enzyte and it is now only 15" long.

Lord Likely may have another cock over at but it's nothing like this one... mine, I mean. Feel free to stare at it all you like, while you are at it just give it a tug as well... won't you please?

Static said...

@Ms. Orange - Thank you!

You have a bit of penis envy do you? So do I.

I am envious of the fact I have one that is so perfect that other peeps are envious of it. The sight of it has caused riots. The mere idea it causes women to swoon and grown men to cry just sends me into a literal mind-spin.

Especially considering the fact I am out in the summer heat in a rubber slicker (and nothing else)... kind of makes me dizzy after being out in the sun awhile. Makes it difficult to flash people for longer than a couple of hours (imagine the crowd if I had an entire day!)

Static said...

@Lord Likely - HUZZAH!

You are always glad to see yourself on display aren't you? Well, you are aren't you?

You may have the room anytime you wish and I'll even toss in a couple of extra rats at no charge. However, the room is only available until 5 o'clock in the morning; as this is when I bring in 20 maid servants to service me until 5:01 a.m. .. then you may have it back, just pay no mind to the wet spot(s).

Static said...

@Pentad - And I thank you for multiple reasons.

a) the congrats
b) that you have put up with me all this time and still read my krappy blog
c) acknowledging the extreme fart(hard)ship I endured whist making that song. I think I changed my shorts.... mmm lemme check. Yep, indeed I have!


Until next time everyone. I'll see ya when I see ya!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for awarding Julius Bloop. I also appreciate the epileptic seizure your static background induces. The paramedic that saved me is now my wife. Which is confusing because he's a man. But we're not gay. He got "the surgery"

All thanks to you!

Sully Sullivan said...

Congrats on all the awards.

Keep the good shit coming and don't be a stranger. Haven't seen you around my parts in a while. My parts are getting lonely.

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