Your Dream Job is Awaiting You - You Asshat

Want a cush consulting job in information technology? Well wait no longer. If your dream job is in the field of I.T. consulting then all you need is a clip-on tie and a rudimentary understanding of the dangers of fire; "fire bad - computers good." If you can make hand tools with flint rock you are in like Flynn, you furrow browed neanderthal.

Just be sure to plug-in that desktop system whilst standing in a bucket of water you slobbering halfwit. Before you say, c'mon now.. that's not true, that can't be true. No one's that f*cking stupid. Invariably, first person detection of third person f*cktardation is almost always immediately followed by denial, often verbally expressed, especially in the form,
"No one's THAT f*cking stupid."

I say, YES, yes they are. I've dealt with them. I digress.

Want a second opinion? Just ask Mark of for examples on exactly how stupid an I.T. consultant can be. Be sure to put in your applications if your IQ is 60 or under.

All I can say is, holy shit. If I didn't know any better I'd say that the I.T. employee Mark works with is employed by the federal or state government here in the states, or possibly the IRS. How do these techtards get these jobs? Did McDonald's fire them because they couldn't figure out how the register works and so then I.T. consulting companies pick these stupes up off the curb? Completely mind-blowing.

Stumbled it
(how could I not?) :)


Gorilla Bananas said...

So someone set fire to himself? I've seen it done as a protest, but it's not very helpful if you're fixing a PC.

RBV said...

I tried helping my boss by fixing his computer once. I gave him all the necessary info on how to fix his issues, but alas, hardened chauvinist that he is, he refused to believe a chick and ordered me to call The Geek Squad.

The guy from the The Geek Squad arrived, sat down, pushed some buttons on the keyboard, and then said that his logic board was ruined.

I then told him to plug it back in.

True story.

Donnie said...

I've yet to know one of these guys who isn't into brainfucking simple ideas and/or afraid of girls!

Angry_Clown said...

F**ken awesome! I caught fire at work once, it really f**ken hurt its kinda the same thing. I was stoopid.

Static said...

@Gorilla Bananas - No, he hasn't set fire to anything or anyone incl. himself ...yet. But it's just a matter of time. This walking time-bomb of stupidity doesn't even understand the concept of email fercrissakes. He's an overpaid, underqualified chimp who couldn't find his way out of a burning paper bag even if he had directions. The only thing he may be qualified for is cleaning toilets and that is stretching it a bit and an insult to good toilet cleaners EVERYWHERE.

@RBV - That sounds like the same guy. Right?

@Don - I've yet to meet one of these guys, period. They're usually too busy playing World Of Warcraft (WoW) or daydreaming, conversing with plankton to realize there are other people in the room, talking to them. Hello! Yes you. Stupid, I'm talking to you. Are they deaf? No they just have no use.

@Damo - Are you sure you don't work for the government? You shouldn't play with fire or you might get burned. Twice, ok three, no... SEVEN times before you learn your lesson. But at least you eventually got it.

Angry_Clown said...

@ Static, fires only bad when your the one on fire! seven or eight times bur who's counting?

I was a welder, nuf said.

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