Higher Than a Giraffe's Ass

"The search for wisdom is a great challenge; to act on wisdom is an even greater challenge."
- Jagadguru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa

What does the term "higher than a giraffe's ass" mean? It 's when someone is really high (on life... or drugs.)

The Big Sleep Doesn't Include Getting Any Z's

charlie chaplin can't be arsed
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Sir Winston Churchill

I always end up having a wealth of useless information at my disposal. I am quite thorough and meticulous in learning new things. It's a compulsion I suppose, so I end up with tons of trivial information in my head as a result.

It sometimes makes for great conversation if you end up finding someone who has the same interests. Some people are amazed, like, "how do you know that?" to which I respond, "I have a wealth of useless information right here (pointing to my head.)"

To others I'm sure it's annoying. Like a mosquito buzzing in your ear, or an itch you can't scratch. Well, tough titty said the kitty.

Even when I get bored, but especially when I do get bored, I continue the quest for interesting information (useless of course), so I routinely end up face to face with internet memes. It's a curse I tells ya. A CURSE!

Want to know what kinds of death and destruction occurred on your birth date? It's pretty shocking. And all this time I thought my birthday was boring except that it's John The Baptist's birthday celebration for the Catholic church. Interestingly enough, this may explain why I have the overwhelming urge to drown people. Especially when they are annoying me.

toilet drowning swirly from hell
In speaking of Jesus, John said: 
"I have baptized you with water, but he will baptize you with the holy spirit.
Behold the Lamb of Gawd."

crazy preacher

Praise Jeebus! Sorry a bit off-topic there. Nothing new right?

Back to my point of providing you with utterly useless information.

Approximately 131,581 people died worldwide on June 24, 1971.

Unusual Deaths in 1971

* Jerome Irving Rodale, an american pioneer of organic farming, died of a heart attack while being interviewed on the Dick Cavett Show. According to urban legend, when he appeared to fall asleep, Cavett quipped "are we boring you, Mr. Rodale?", which Cavett has recently stated in a may 2007 new york times article was incorrect - the initial reaction to Rodale was fellow guest Pete Hamill noticing something was wrong, and saying in a low voice to Cavett, "this looks bad." The show was never broadcast.

Natural disasters in 1971

* 1971 San Fernando earthquake
* 1971 Canberra flood
* 1971 Kuala Lumpur floods

People who died on June 24 (various years)

* 2007 - Natasja Saad, Danish reggae and dancehall artist
* 2007 - Derek Dougan, Northern Irish footballer
* 2007 - Chris Benoit, Canadian professional wrestler
* 2007 - Byron Baer, American politician
* 2006 - Patsy Ramsey, mother of JonBenét Ramsey
* 2005 - Hakham Yedidia Shofet, Former chief rabbi of Iran
* 2005 - Paul Winchell, American voice actor and ventriloquist
* 2004 - Ifigeneia Giannopoulou, Greek songwriter
* 2003 - Vladimir Garin, Russian actor
* 2002 - Pierre Werner, Prime Minister of Luxembourg
* 2000 - David Tomlinson, English actor
* 2000 - Vera Atkins, Romanian-born British intelligence officer
* 1997 - Brian Keith, American actor
* 1997 - Don Hutson, American athlete
* 1993 - Archie Williams, American athlete
* 1991 - Rufino Tamayo, Mexican painter.
* 1987 - Jackie Gleason, American actor and musician
* 1984 - Clarence Campbell, Canadian NHL president
* 1978 - Robert Charroux, French writer
* 1977 - André-Gilles Fortin, French Canadian politician
* 1968 - Tony Hancock, British comedian
* 1947 - Emil Seidel, Mayor of Milwaukee, Wisconsin
* 1935 - Carlos Gardel, Argentine singer (airplane crash)
* 1922 - Walther Rathenau, German Minister of Foreign Affairs (assassinated)
* 1909 - Sarah Orne Jewett, American writer
* 1908 - Grover Cleveland, President of the United States (heart failure)
* 1894 - Marie François Sadi Carnot, French statesman
* 1835 - Andreas Vokos Miaoulis, Greek admiral and politician, commander of Greek naval forces in Greek War of Independence
* 1817 - Thomas McKean, American lawyer and signer of the Declaration of Independence
* 1803 - Matthew Thornton, American signer of the Declaration of Independence
* 1778 - Pieter Burmann the Younger, Dutch philologist
* 1766 - Adrien-Maurice, 3rd duc de Noailles, French soldier
* 1643 - John Hampden, English politician
* 1637 - Nicolas-Claude Fabri de Peiresc, French astronomer
* 1604 - Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford, Lord Great Chamberlain of England
* 1520 - Hosokawa Sumimoto, Japanese samurai commander
* 1519 - Lucrezia Borgia, Duchess of Ferrara
* 1439 - Duke Frederick IV of Austria
* 1398 - Hongwu Emperor of China
* 803 - Higbald of Lindisfarne

Who would have known all of that?
I hate to sound morbid again in this post. It's not like I'm a total goth like this dude:

so goth i shit bats
it's true Glenn Danzig shits bats!!!!!!

However, experiencing death once again in my life leads me to ponder my own mortality. I don't know about you, but I want to go out with a bang!


jj sayz dynomite bitches

Maybe I'll kick the bucket on YOUR birthday...but don't count on it anytime soon.

What's your Death Report?


Rarely are things so ridiculously funny that I entitle a blog article with an internet euphemism..okay, not entirely true, actually none of the above is true, but LOL does describe this video I came across. And of course, at Krapsody I pass teh lulz on to you.

Courtesy: Waverly Films

Check 'em out, you won't be disappointed. I subscribed to their YouTube Channel months ago and they have regular insane video submissions that are quite hilarious. If you like their stuff subscribe to them, sign up for their feed, send them a billion dollars. What better cause to support in the bail-out plan?

Top Six Scientific Research Studies Claim 'Holy Grail'

mad scientist
"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom." - Isaac Asimov

Never has a truer statement been uttered in all the existence of humankind. If you've reached this site by accident, I suggest you panic. Because what I'm going to tell you is going to blow your mind, and change the way you see things. And if it doesn't then you are either a festering sack of bat carcasses or you are hip to this scientific study already, and it has therefore rendered you brain-dead, stupefied and/or all of the above.

Institutions of Jocularity Part I

Fri Jan. 09, 2009

Dingleberry, USA (Krapsody) - Sphincterology, it's not just for assholes anymore. In my continuing effort to bring readers great things, I present you with the latest scoop on religious cults and their megalomaniacal leaders and sheep-like followers..damn you all.

Thought For The Day No. Three

Mon January 05, 2009

Location: Shit, Iran (Krapsody) - Here's an idea. Well, it's more like a shot in the dark, sorta like giving a gun to the blind...

How about our government bails out our poorly funded public schools so that maybe one day our immediate future generations will grow up to be people that will have a fighting chance to be smart enough to design, build and sell cars that are economical, use alternate sources of energy, last longer than a few years and are worth more after driving off the lot - and THEN worry about the failing auto industry, which is...failing, despite the absurdly grotesque amounts of money being thrown at it. Surprise, surprise.

Conceivably everyone should help pitch in and build an SUV-Henge. We know that with big cities strapped for tax income (due to all the foreclosures and all the industries pulling out and moving to China or Timbuktu) public parks are hurting too.

Why not take the current glut of undrive-able SUVs and stack them end on end to build a monument to the Sun that can be used at the Summer Solstice to appease whatever Gods are mad at us? (Probably all of them right now.)

A majestic Public Works project is usually just the ticket to cheer people up during hard times, and the raw material and free labor is all around you. If that fails we can always call it "public art." Thousands of years from now OUR ancestors will find SUV-Henge and wonder what the fuck that was all about.

Or maybe we can just continue spinning our wheels and doing everything ass backwards in our denial, and continue the cycle of feeble attempts to look like we know what the hell we are doing? Hey, perhaps a small kick back (just a little bit) to public schools wouldn't hurt in the long run, you know, so the kids can actually learn how to spell "denial", "feeble", and "would you like fries with that?"...if that idea isn't too hard to swallow.

I could sugarcoat it all for you poor apathetic spineless saps that can barely manage to lick the boots of real democracy. Instead, I try to offer much more pleasant things you can think about while the American Way of Life collapses around your ears. Then, once the dust settles, we can all relax, and commence destroying the planet again (in an entirely different way this time.)

School closures are a serious fricking matter people. I rue the day when our daily routine looks like this:

If you are in denial about your feeble attempts to understand how the internet works, and your fat sausage-like fingers are too greasy from eating fries - just click this here darn link right there duhur! ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0O7_3o3BrI

Oh, forget it. We're doomed. The only logical choice is to hoard rice.

Come on, I know you want to do it with me. Sometimes, just being told you aren’t allowed to do something is enough to make that thing the only thing in the world you ever wanted to do. It's reverse psychology, but now I may have ruined it for the novice thinker.

If that's the case I'll happily walk you through the process: Buy your four 100 pound bag limit at one Sam’s Club, drive to another and buy four more, then back to the one you started at and buy four more, and don’t stop until your entire house is so full of burlap bags of rice you think you are on a Red Cross ship bound for Myanmar.

There. That ought to keep you busy for the next couple of weeks or so until Barack Obama is finally President. I don’t know how much he’ll be able to fix by the time the inaugural ball is finally over, but at least the madmen will have gone back to Texas.

Anyone want some rice?

Eulogy On Death and Dying

..is the business of life.

The cycles of nature require death, but they are senseless to the way we ultimately get there. Indeed, dying is an uneasy prospect and one of which we do not wish to be reminded. Life simply crawls to its end, irrevocably and without discrimination.

One thing that has stuck in my mind since the news of my father's death last Tuesday, is that relationships usually don't change when people are faced with bad news. That's why it's important to build on the strengths and not the weaknesses of a relationship that are in place before an illness comes about, before they are gone, or you may end up having regrets.

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