Get Yourself Some Baggies!

asphyxiation and hypoxyphilia / baggies can suffocate you

Procrasturbating? I know I am.
With spring right around the corner I think many of us have the spring fever, and that's the causation of procrasturbation.

So fap away freaks.

Here's a random funny video to stroke your funny boner to. It's right up there with Picnic Face and their hilarious commercial spoof "Harness the Power of 400 Babies"!

Visit: Mediocre Films

Even though it seems like Baggies demographic is crack dealers and methamphetamine pushers. Let's focus on how Baggies could be useful for other illegal substances, such as marijuana. All this product needs is a stoner celebrity endorsement.

Possible selections could include:

John Dolmayan - drummer for alt-metal group System of a Down, who just purchased a rare copy of the first comic book featuring Superman for $317,200.00! Man, he musta been rrrrrrrreeeaaally HIGH.

baked iguana drowning

Snoop Dogg - a professional champion pot smoker. A pot smoker that every other pot smoking cheeba-head strives to be like. Snoop's at the pinnacle of firing up the ol' skizzzunk. Snoop Dogg smokes pot like a kiln, like our hippie parents used to. With all probability, his only rival is an old woman with glaucoma.

snoop is sooo high

Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong - psychedelic bud brothers who starred in such movies as Nice Dreams. They were sucking down bong hits and were burnouts long before you were a gleam in your daddy's eye. They are the reason for a revival of the munchies, blood-shot eyes, cotton-mouth, late night insomnia and a stand-by for the cancellation of Dave Chappelle's show (see below).

cheech and chong bong hit burn-outs

Dave Chappelle - comedian, film roles, t.v. show. Does Dave smoke pot? Of course, how else would he think of all that funny stuff. THC still means, "The Heavenly Chappelle" in most stoner circles.

dave chappelle half baked

Harold & Kumar - another odd couple in a pothead cult flick. How many stoners do you know that constantly quote Harold & Kumar movies? Too many to count, that's how god-damn many.

harold and kumar pot heads cult flick

James Franco and Seth Grogan in Pineapple Express - seriously, this kind of movie stopped being funny about the time Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle was released. If you liked this flick (I haven't even ventured to see it), and it made you want to go to the drive-in and Hotbox the car up when ya saw it.. well then you're a freak show. People stare at your scary hair, they gawk at the way you walk, they squawk 'bout the way you talk. Normal folk think you're just a joke. How dare you to share the air the public has to breathe. And those are the usual responses I get when I'm out in public.

franco and rogan pineapple express OMG stop

Arnold Schwarzenegger - Schwarzenegger told British GQ that he had never done drugs, and they called him out on the scene in 1977’s Pumping Iron documentary where he was smoking a joint. The cuddly Nazi responded, “That is not a drug. It’s a leaf… My drug was pumping iron, trust me.” He's still probably floating all willy nilly-like in sparkly cerebral dreamland with unicorns, Care Bears and shimmering Sargent Shrivers to this day..why else would you go into politics?

arnold schwarzenegger da gubanator iz high as fuck

Barack Obama - the country's top dawg even dabbled a bit. Oh yeah, that's cool and all. Only once again, it's made this guy: someone who's smoked some ganja decide to want to be a politician. Who says pot makes you all lethargic and unmotivated? How has beer ever affected someone's mind that insidiously? Beer is just a little bit better than Obama because beer won't take half your paycheck, and because beer didn’t smoke pot and snort cocaine.

obama oh man i'm so high

Damn stoners. I envy people who drink - at least they know what or whom to blame everything on. And half of the world's population of drunks read my blog. So guess who's to blame? I think I'll go smoke a fatty now.


Anonymous said...

You. forgot. about. Bill Clinton.

Anonymous said...

How does Pineapple Express suck exactly?? I thought it was alright

Anonymous said...

Life's a bitch and then you die , that's why we get high , cause you never know when you gonna go.

Anonymous said...

Ah this brings back traumatic memories about smoking weed in my parents garage and being so paranoid they were going to catch me and eventually they did catch me smoking a joint and reading a porno mag!

Anonymous said...

Watch as a stoner-surfer rambles about his surfing career and his love of pot

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I wonder how much sticky icky a dope fiend could smoke in a day?

Snarky Basterd said...

Fabulous, as usual. You had me laughing at procrasturbating...and, from there, well...I think I pissed my pants.

Static said...

@DMcNutz - Indeed I did, I also did not mention Michael Phelps. I s'pose I didn't want to take up any more room going on and on about EVERY celebrity stoner in La-La-Land.

@Dr. Cannabis - Feel free to check out when you like. Just leave the Rx pad in a convenient place so your patients can forge your signature and get LOTS more medical marijuana.

@daddy likee - At least they didn't catch you jacking whoops, I guess that was your point.

@Yvette - Thanks for the link...I would like my 5 minutes back now please.

@wookie - Let me guess. You're high (again).

@bamamam88 - Sounds like a nursery rhyme. How much sticky icky can a dope fiend smoke in a day if he had enough sticky icky to smoke everyday, if there was too much sticky icky could he smoke it all away?

@Dr. Dave - Thanks. Peeing yourself is what happens when you have ADHD and try to read Krapsody..or just a full bladder and you have OCD and can't stop reading my ramblings. This is why I recommend wearing Depends when viewing this site (please refer to the full disclaimer)

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