Thought For The Day No. Five

Another passing thought I had today when ol' Octomom Nadya Suleman crossed my mind momentarily.

vagina its not a clown car

Now that Nadya's tape of her giving birth to her octuplets will be sold to any takers offering a seven figure sum, we'll soon officially know what it's like to witness what it must be like to see a cantaloupe being tossed out of the Grand Canyon...once it's posted on the internet that is.

In order to reduce the amount of obscene pregnancies, reproductive politics need a bit of adjustment. I propose issuing a Baby Permit to any couples wishing to have children...The more children you have, the more permits you are required to purchase and renew every year of their lives until they give birth to their own offspring.

Creating a new law that requires people wishing to have a baby to apply for a permit prior to conception might ensure the limitation of consequences of frozen embryo harvesting and implantation, but could also deter free-range philandering, and subsequent poorly thought out trysts.

For one thing, the idea of being licensed or issued a permit to procreate sounds kind of cool. Doesn't it?

  • Quiet dinner (check)
  • Flickering candlelight (check)
  • Soft music (check)
  • Satin sheets (check)
  • Scented massage oil (check)
  • IQ above 70 (check)
  • Baby permit (check)

OK, I'm ready!

Why this might even eliminate our economic problems in and of itself! BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!

I'm heading to Washington to get this bill signed today.

simpsons unibrow baby Hmm, after careful consideration - I just thought there could be dozens of people selling their baby permits on eBay.

Counterfeiting rings would spring up, and unscrupulous government officials and Wall Street workers would deal in baby permits under the table. Oh, the humanity!

Okay, so the idea was followed up poorly. If we take another look at it, maybe we can salvage this one?

Listening to: Tori Amos - Professional Widow via FoxyTunes


Gorilla Bananas said...

The woman is a shrewd entrepreneur who turned having kids into mass entertainment. Maybe you could do the same with having a shit? Obviously we're talking big turds here.

Anonymous said...

Makes you wonder what other things she has hidden in her uterus

Anonymous said...

Ooooh, boy the claws are coming out today!

Preston said...

I really feel sorry for her childre. BTW I LOVE Tori Amos...

Anonymous said...

My vagina is not a clown car. It's a section 8 apartment complex.

Anonymous said...

That's a visual I didn't need! lol

Anonymous said...

If nadya rented out her uterus for public transportation purposes then she could actually support her children with her own income. ;)

Snarky Basterd said...

You seem to have more of a fetish for her than I do...I relinquish my pimp rights. I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me.

Anonymous said...

just meat puppets as far as im concerned

Static said...

@Mr. Bananas - Did you just call us all 'Talking Big Turds' here?

@Don - Yes the couple that doesn't know what BIRTH CONTROL is. They are definitely mentally deficient dipshits, not retards. To call them retarded would be an insult to retarded people.

@gboo - Well let's see...there seems to be a package of gum in here, a foosball table, a dishwasher, a pair of pliers, a school bus, a watermelon patch, a set of 44" Super Swamper tires, the decomposing corpse of her last sperm donor, and some loose marbles...there may be more, however I can't go back that far without bringing an oxygen tank.

@Perez - Dats rite sister. Shoot. Don't make me break my foot off in yo ass.

@Preston - Yes, and I'm sure her children will one day feel sorry for her as well.

@Nadya - Thanks for clearing that up for us. We can all sleep soundly now.

@G-love - Just think what the cameraman went through when he filmed the event.

@wookie - Actually, that's a great idea. The only problem is I don't think they make an engine strong enough to get her fat ass airborne, or down a hill.

@Dr. Dave - I sense a hint of jealousy.

@Dr. Cannabis - You're right. She should have her own tv show, it would be like the Partridge Family or The Brady Bunch.. only not quite as entertaining.

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