To Be A Cop Or To Be A Racial Profiler..That Is The Question

Krapsody Investigative Report

The ill-advised (in my opinion) arrest of Harvard Professor Henry Lewis Gates last week by Cambridge Police Officer Sgt. James Crowley for being "uppity", caught the attention of the nation, but it was President Obama's comment that the Cambridge Police "acted stupidly" and the rather terrible response by the Cambridge Police Union at its press conference, which created a much-needed national conversation about race, law enforcement, and American culture.

Continue reading more about bigotry, racism, and hatred in law enforcement.

Why lie? If we read between the lines, Obama was really saying, "COPS ARE DUMB RACISTS!"

What's so wrong with that? Does everyone in law enforcement think that because they have a badge and/or a criminology degree that it makes them racially unbiased? Does it make them some sort of experts? Some kind of geniuses? Krapsody thinks they may all get their information from Pat Buchanan, who believes that white people "built" America.

At risk of being beaten on the side of the road - or worse yet, being time a cop asks you for your license and registration, or what you are doing in your own home; ask him/her what the Potential Energy of a rod dropped from a mile above the Earth due to Gravitational Force would be, provided the following equation:

U(g)= G* m1 *m2 / r

set m2 to be 1kg which will give the amount of Joules delivered by a projectile per kg of mass.

U(g) = (6.67428*10^-11 m^3 kg^-1 s^-2) * (5.9742 ×10^24 kg
) (*1kg) / (35,790,000 m)

U(g) = 11 140 956.6 joules/ kg

U(g)= 11,140,959 Joules/kg of projectile.
Compare to Fatboy which had an explosive yield of at least 13 kilotons of TNT when dropped from the same distance.

If they get the correct answer, then they were either a child prodigy that chose to serve the higher good by being a public servant, or they failed miserably as a rocket scientist.

We turn to Cambridge police department's Sgt. Stadanko, formerly of the LAPD, for some insight into racial profiling.

"Look, just because our boys beat the spit out of Rodney King in 1991, sparking a series of riots in Los Angeles, doesn't mean cops are racists anymore than Michael Richards is," Sgt. Stadanko says, "As police officers, we're faced with making decisions about whom we arrest, who we beat silly, and who we don't bother with."

"We follow our hunches. And if backed into a corner, we will strike like wild animals."

Does this image jog your memory?

Rodney King beating deleted this image
A night out on the town for the Cambridge Police Dept.
The lynching of Krapsody has been pre-approved by the FBI, LAPD, and the Cambridge PD,
and deemed not to be a hate crime, or an interstate threat coupled with extortion!!

***The great image hosting service, Photobucket, deleted that image recently. Because they're image Nazis, and also because "freedom of speech" doesn't apply to images hosted at popular image hosting sites. Apparently, netizens don't want to be reminded that there were, or still are people like this in America. Read my response to Photobucket!***

"We have to set our priorities. Do we arrest an unarmed Black professor in his own home for a possible burglary attempt, but charge with disorderly conduct when we have nothing else instead?"

Stadanko gets a gleam in his eye, "OR.. do we arrest a white man dressed in an expensive suit..maybe he's only in his underwear..and he's robbing a local bank branch at gun point, armed with a semi-automatic SIG556 assault rifle with a 16” military grade cold hammer forged barrel, chambered in 5.56mm NATO, with a twist rate of 1 in 7”, a STL-900L Tactical Light/Laser, and a silencer/flash suppressor."

"Mistaken identity. Paranoid neighbors. Who knows?!'s like My Little Pony walking into A Nightmare Before Christmas. Frankly, colored folks all look alike to us anyway..and how is that our fault? I think the choice is obvious in these situations. It's our easy button."

Stadanko continues, "Arrests of this nature are a sure thing. We're talking easy money for our court systems. Given the current economic crisis, it will help boost city and state economies, with these 'black and white/open and shut cases.'"

"Fewer trials and more fines paid by economically disadvantaged minority criminals, means a new traffic light, and more government benefits for our inner city police departments...benefits like more high-priced call girls, COCAINE, and more pillow cases for our Klan uniforms."

"As far as what Obama was quoted as saying...he made a couple of valid points. Everyone in this situation overreacted. Our department should have just hosed Gates down 'til he was sober. Gates should have sucked it up and not gotten uppity. And Obama should have minded his own business."

obama awesome

"Obama ain't Gawd. But at least he's not a quitter like that Sarah Palin broad," Stadanko says.

"I'm just glad Obama didn't make the usual cliched remark about police personnel and their obsession with donuts..or we'd have to burn a cross on the White House lawn...even though it's true..every word of it. That may be the only honest answer you'll get from me today."

Where does this leave "normal" law abiding citizens like you and me? ..Not safe anywhere, any place, at anytime. Ever hear of The Patriot Act? Just stay indoors. Hide in your caves, or under your rocks. With the internet, you can accomplish everything you do in the "real world". Facebook, Amazon, Twitter..? Want not, need not.

Unless you have the urge to dress up in sheets, and socialize with The Gay Black Jewish Klansmen meetings held in Tyrone's mom's basement on Wednesday evenings.

not another clan meeting

p.s. "Anonymous" HoBlogger..I throw salt in your eyes, and pepper in your nose! Grow a pair - reveal your true identity, you've already shown your true "colors" here today! So what do you have to lose?!

UPDATE: Are you sure you want or need the help of some police officers capable of doing this?

OR what about this supporting evidence of police brutality?

Or how about this (just in case you think this only happens to Black, Latino/Hispanic, and/or Asian people because they did something wrong and deserved it OR that these are simply isolated experiences exclusive to minority groups, the elderly, gays/lesbians, prostitutes, other unseemly characters such as drug addicts; even neighborhoods or cultures other than yours that you don't approve of anyway) - Had enough yet?

Don't be so smug. It could happen to you if you should happen to fall outside the preconceived idea of what is considered "normal", or a "law abiding citizen", by some podunk police officers' standards.

Note: not all police officers or law enforcement officials are corrupt or commit such atrocities. However, let this article shed light upon the stark reality that just because someone wears a badge doesn't mean they aren't capable of crimes just as much as our stereotypical ideas of "criminals" are.


Anonymous said...

And to think I actually went to your page from an Alert and am taking time to comment, I couldn't read the "junk" you were spewing. I just hope that you believe in the good of all mankind and never need the assistance of the law enforcement community, those balletity balhitities...

Static said...

Dear "Anonymous",

But how do you feel about African-American police officers who may or may not profile and target white non-educated neo-nazi perverts, such as yourself?

(what kind of Google Alert were you expecting...something about 'whale penis' perhaps?)

IF you haven't barricaded your doors and windows yet, maybe you should...that is if you can figure out how to work your opposable thumbs and set your Google Alert filter properly. Remember Google's disclaimer: they aren't responsible for incorrect or offensive content you are sent.

BTW, it's called "satire", learn it bitch..or continue to waste your time making uninformed comments.

Really, you should ignore what you can't wrap your mind around. That's probably what you do best. =P

Skrib (aka MEaster Bunny) said...

Brrrrrravo Statman!
outstanding review/news report about the abuses of power made by some law enforcement peeps

I wonder why Anonymous has such a wild hair up his or her ass?
could it be that they are a white neonazi pervert with little education or are they a person of color who has never been harassed by a cop before? maybe its some white middleclass suburban soccer mom with a perfect little life. she has 2.3 kids, helmet hair, a gas guzzling minivan, a traveling salesman hubby who bangs male prostitutes while he's out of town and she only has limited experience with police such as on tv and is deathly afraid of black people so has no clue about other possible realities outside her own little bubble.
Oh the irony!!

Bunny Boiler said...

C'mon, admit it, it was you who planted that "anon" comment, wasn't it? You just wanted to give us all a good laugh.

That arrest made the UK news too - kinda' makes your heart drop thunk into the heel of your boots, doesn't it? Sadly, it's not so different over here, either.

Balletity Balhitities said...

I'm a police ociffer and I beat people with my billy club because I believe in the good of all mankind and never need the assistance of the law enforcement community. I make my own laws up!

btw I have no idea wtf my name means..probably because they aren't words that have any meaning

threio said...

SOB ; u have a cave. A cave is so cool!

hmmm, how's did your set up your internet access?

Ballihoo Ballingtits said...

@ everybody

O rly?!

Static said...

@ Skrib - You have a point. Anonymous could be an aging old maid who wistfully remembers the day when most cops were real men, with handlebar mustaches and they blew whistles to stop criminals dead in their tracks...perhaps that was just after The Bronze Age?

Or she could be a HoBlogger/Bag Lady just looking for another reason to hate on Krapsody and Project Julio.

Static said...

@ Bunny Boiler - Sad to say, but no it wasn't me who planted that "Anon" comment.

I really wish I could take the credit for being that ignorant.

I'm pleased that it gave you, and the rest of us, a good laugh.

The only drop thunk into the heel of the boots I hear, is when I take a dump in my pants..which happens quite frequently in old age.

Static said...

@ Balletity Balhitities - LOL @ "ociffer"!

Static said...

@ Threio - YEAH. Caves are cool.

Batman; Cave men/Troglodytes; Morlocks; Vagabonds/HoBloggers; Osama Bin Laden...coincidentally, that's who I set up my internet access through. They are known as TITS (Talicom International Telephony Services). Quick upcomers for CaveBand Service providers.

They are even surpassing AT&T Inc. (Afghani Talibanis & Telecommuni-can't, Incraperated).

Look for them inside your local Talibani cave drawing network, or listen for their ad on Cave Radio AM - Talk Of The Spelunkers!

Static said...

@ Ballihoo Ballingtits - YA RLY!

Static said...

@ Gorilla Bananas - Pardon me? That was a most inauspicious comment you made. If I didn't know any better I'd say you and ALL gorillas are racists (based upon my preconceived notions about the stereotypical gorilla).

Are you going to tell me you have a problem with chimps and/or orangutans next?! What HAS the world come to?!!!!

Anonymous said...

I deem this most excellent.

Static said...

@BMD - Thanks. I deem this the FBI's Most Wanted.

megaman the madman said...

Words to live by...You truly bring a balanced approach to the issues..with humor and sarcasm..Oh and hey anonymous..With freedom of expression comes..well differences..But if you don't have the balls to put your name down on your opinion it isn't worth shit..

Great article..

Static said...

@ MegaMan - I bring a balanced approach a one-legged drunk with vertigo teetering on a steep icy driveway, lined with ball bearings, while standing on a stack of bowling balls. =P

bring back pluto said...

Hmmm.....An interesting read for sure. I agree that the days of being PC need to end. Obama is somewhat refreshing in that way.
Teachers should adopt that same honesty when speaking to parents. Instead of saying, "Your child has a lot of energy." They should just say, "Your child's a little prick and I can't wait for the year to end, so i don't have to see him anymore."
Shit, where did that come from? I must have been profiled as a kid or something.
Bring back pluto

Static said...

@ BBP - Hola, howdy, and hi. Welcome!

I hear your complaint(s), and I feel for ya. I too was once a pre-school teacher until the day my mouth (and my foot) cost me my position.

Honesty, apparently, much like truth - is a double-edged sword, and can hurt if used hastily.

Parents will take offense when told that their children are EXACTLY like them, because of course they are blind to their own failings. And because most often they are completely self-absorbed.

Even though a parent generally gives much attention to their children, they also tend to be wrapped up in themselves and their family activities. Selfish shitfuckingbastards that they are!


So...when are you eligible to reapply for a teaching position on YOUR planet? =P

Gboo said...

how do they sleep at night??

Julio said...

"As far as what Obama was quoted as saying...he made a couple of valid points. Everyone in this situation overreacted. Our department should have just hosed Gates down 'til he was sober. Gates should have sucked it up and not gotten uppity. And Obama should have minded his own business." Perfecto! Couldn't have said it better myself. Usually I read something and go, "I could have said that WAY better." In this case: NO. And thx for reminding us that these are the same boys that beat Rodney King to shit [and I should add they were got judged by a jury with NO black people on it (].

I love negative comments. TY anonymous. Just like those stupid redknecks yelling at town hall meetings. All that does is piss off smart people who go, "No...they really aren't THAT stupid, are they...omfg, they really are. WTF HAS THIS WORLD COME TO?!?!?! I'm too lazy to do anything about it but I WILL send Obama money =)"

Static said...

@ Julio - Ahh, Julio!
So good to see you here.
As always you are: 1) a terrific personification of adventure! 2) are an outstanding sample of faith! 3) clearly an attentive example of a genius!

You are also a perceptive pillar of principle! You choose the right way, even when it's not easy.

Now, where would you like me to forward that $20 I promised you for posting your spurious, affected comments?...your Paypal acct doesn't seem to be working anymore.

Jesus the hobo said...

Cops not only racial profile, but they discriminate against the homeless. Just the other day they beat an old bag lady for squatting in an alley way behind the police station (figuring it would be safer there)..boy, was she wrong. She would have been better off squatting at a crack house instead.

Static said...

@ Jesus - Sorry to hear about your friend and your predicament. So how is your Dad, the Almighty doing?

Static said...

p.s. some police officers are sexist. But they still have to uphold the law in domestic violence cases. To exercise your rights, dial 911.

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