We Can Be Heroes Just For One Day in Basil Marceaux's Time Machine

Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who probably found one of the most dramatic ways to quit a job ever, is the most famous flight attendant since Vesna Vulovic. Yes, I know. Just click the link and you'll understand. Slater, allegedly cursed out an entire aircraft, grabbed a beer and then exited a plane by deploying the emergency slide suddenly found himself a hero of thousands of people just like him. How does a melodrama, such as this, propel a flight attendant into infamy? It seems losing one's patience isn't all you will lose when flying the friendly skies.

It official now. You can not only make a swift exit from everything from a job that you absolutely hate, to boring parties, to gastrointestinal emergencies, BUT you can also say "Adios!" and/or "Take this job and shove it" with panache!

What happened to the days when heroes were dressed in blue pantyhose like Superman, or went off to some war in a foreign land, and they either died or came back with stories of how they cut off the ears of their enemies and made necklaces with them? Those days are gone, my friends.

Many of us would like to tell corporate America to shove it for the ofttimes horrible way they treat the working class...but we don't. Even though we're the backbone of America who are underappreciated and underpaid, we suck it up everyday and not because we like to. NO. We are much too dignified for that.

We suck it up because we have to in most instances. And in some small way that makes us heroes of sorts, because we didn't give in to the pressure. We keep our cool, day in, and day out..we just imagine cutting off the ears of our evil oppressors and making necklaces with them, or whisking down the emergency slide onto the tarmac and giving the one finger salute as we walk off into the sunset.

But when it comes to public transportation, I have a reasonable suggestion. Considering how time consuming and dangerous public transportation has become: drive/bike/walk/crawl wherever you need to go. There's nothing like good old terra firma.

I can't imagine what Slater would have done in an alternate universe. Speaking of heroes in an alternate universe saving the day: Where was Basil Marceaux when we needed him the most?!

Why, that genius was busy inventing a time machine so he could travel back in time to change history! Let's see how that went... . . .

Creative Commons License
The Basil Marceaux Time Machine: LINK
by Static of Krapsody.com and Paul and Al - 94 FM HJY Providence
licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.whjy.com.

Too bad Basil didn't change the space/time continuum and take out that female passenger who allegedly hit Slater in the head, inadvertently propelling him to 15-minutes of stardom in the process...or he could have at least killed Hitler. And in other related news, I need a nap.

More Basil Marceaux fun:
Basil Marceaux for president!!!!!


Gorilla Bananas said...

Yes, he was a hero. He could have done far worse things after being hit on the head with a bag. Stupid passengers should wait until the plane stops moving. I would have given Mr Slater a cattle prod. I hope he used some dirty cuss words.

Static said...

@ Mr. Bananas: Oh, I don't know that he is a hero per se. Nor do I think he is a villain. He's just an average guy who lost his cool on the job and quit. Nothing all that special about it. Good for him on one level, but he could have handled it better.

Given the circumstances of his job and position, and the way he chose to walk out and leave his responsibilities, he's lucky he's not yet faced federal offenses and been forced to serve any real time in this situation. A few years ago he may have been shipped off to Guantanamo and subjected to "interrogation" (water boarding) *cough cough!

Given the timing of his actions, and the yearning for a working class hero of sorts, he's been recognized as a pop culture icon for a typical, yet ephemeral 15 minutes of fame. No more no less. In the months ahead there will be something or someone else to talk about or acknowledge. Believe me.

Slater could have done far worse things, sure...but to what benefit?

No one is in control of anyone else. Slater had options (just as the unruly passenger did). We all do. He and she took the ones that suited them in the moment. And whoop-de-do.

Yes, some people are stupid. But does that mean that because one person acts in a dysfunctional manner that you/I/or we should join or praise them? Yep, customer service sucks.

But I don't think people need to act out. Nor do I entirely agree with or condone the belief or value that it's okay to just react to everything inappropriately when things don't go their way. It seems like a cop out, in reality. And is only a reflection that people are becoming more and more narcissistic.

I do what I do for humor sake. I make the effort to not carry on in my actual daily life the way some persons do. Really, unhealthy (for them mostly).

What ever happened to logic and reasoning being the model for what's hot? The dude or lady that kept their cool, no matter what, was in. Instead it seems psychotic behavior is exalted.

Conduct of this sort is not necessary. It's irrational. It's just an ill-advised and not-well-thought-out reaction that is as primitive and antiquated as the reactionary behavior of knuckle dragging troglodytes who feared their own shadows. And who really wants to be compared to that? It's bad enough that most of us have to work for them. =)

Julio said...

Excellent commentary Static, as usual. Also, nice joint production of the "Basil Marceaux Time Machine." What a beautiful man...God certainly had comedians in mind when he created Basil Marceaux. HIS NAME IS A FUCKING HERB! And that's just the tip of the ice-burg that apparently has been pardoned for sinking the Titanic under Basil Marceaux's time-traveling pardon system.

Michael said...

The dramatic exit it something we should strive to attain. This will probably go down as my favorite "non-combat" dramatic exit, and it slightly reminds me of the movie "Falling Down" with Michael Douglas.

...And Another Thing!!

Static said...

@projectjulio - Due to Basil's grievous errors during his time traveling excursions, you may be unaware how significantly he altered the time/space continuum.

For instance, it was in fact all Basil Marceaux's fault that the Titanic struck that iceberg and sank.

It was also his fault that the ...Hindenburg exploded.

It was his fault WWI and WWII broke out, and just about every other major disaster is his fault as well.

He's not entirely to blame for his thinking that he could change things.

First, there are so many variables, it would take a LEAGUE of Einsteins to figure it all out.

Second, Basil means well enough, he just has too many copies of the X chromosome resulting in an intellectual disability caused by Klinefelter's syndrome.

So, you see, in trying to make things different the retard couldn't help but fuck everything up.

Static said...

@ Michael: Dramatic exits are so five minutes ago. Dramatic ENTRANCES, however, are fabulous. Making a fierce appearance is a hot mess, tranny!

Static said...

Acapulco shirts: A sort of clothing that you feel is strongly required when heading in the direction of Las Vegas in the midst of a drug frenzy.

"A sport shurt? Can I turn the collar up on that bad boy? Hello ladies-who-work-in-retail! But f...irst we need the car. And after that the cocaine. And then the tape recorder, for special music, and some Acapulco shirts." - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (featuring batfuck insane Basil Marceaux as who else but "Batfuck Insane Guy".)

The Wolf said...

I agree with Gorilla Bananas that it could have been far worse. Is he a hero though that's a stretch in my opinion. But I think it does show an increasing trend of people finally having enough and snapping. It seems that this kind of thing is happening more and more, and I see it getting far worse before it gets better.

And why didn't that fucker just pick the winning lotto numbers to a major jackpot from a couple of years ago, go back and win it. Then he could be knee deep in hookers and blow.....that's what I would have done....well that and kill Hitler.

Static said...

@ The Wolf: I too agree with Banana man on that point. It could have been much MUCH worse. People have been snapping at their jobs for a number of years now. Look at postal workers for instance...bang bang bang...Oops. Missed one. BANG (shoots self). There. All better now.

The winning lotto numbers would have been a far better bet than trying to alter the space/time continuum without a hitch. Why, in comparison to Mr. Marceaux and judging by your enlightened remarks on the subject, I imagine woods nymphs sprinkle your path with fairy dust while you dance and prowl in the sequined moonlight with dancing magical mushrooms. May you ever have naked women toss themselves at you and coo in oblivious delight at your witty urbane commentary!...was that over the top?

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