Japan Earthquake Linked to Charlie Sheen

Godzilla Sheenzilla
Oh, no, they say he's got to go
Go go Sheenzilla.
(click to embiggen)
Thur. March 17, 2011

Mt. Godzuki, Japan (Krapsody) - Last Friday's magnitude 9.0 quake and subsequent tsunami killed upwards of 5,692, and more than 9,500 people are missing. Tens of thousands more are living in temporary shelters, but only a small handful have been evacuated.

The massive quake damaged a nuclear reactor plant at Fukushima, described by one NPR correspondent from Japan as "probably not as bad as Chernobyl," and another correspondent was quoted as saying, "It's just as bad as Nagasaki, Hiroshima, and Chernobyl combined. It must violate clean air rules by now I would think." Crews are working around the clock to stabilize the reactor before the situation gets any more out of hand.

Meanwhile many homeless citizens gathered around the growing fire at the plant to make shish kabobs and s'mores. One man remarked, "My teeth are glowing a brilliant neon green now, don't you agree?" as he smiled. Indeed his teeth were as green as it gets.

Wildest God of Metal Behind Bars of Metal, Coincidence?

Sat. March 12, 2011

Salisbury Steak Dinner, UK (Krapsody) - Paul Di'Anno, ex-heavy metal singer for the band Iron Maiden, in a twist of fate has been jailed for fraud. Di'Anno had been illegally collecting income support, housing benefit and council tax handouts between 2002 and 2008 while he toured and lived abroad. Di'Anno's autobiography, The Beast, refers to him as the "wildest man in rock". Critics may now call him the "most wanted man in rock".

Oh, dear. A sad day indeed. Welcome to the "Twilight Zone". It doesn't appear that this will be a case of "Innocent Exile", nor "Sanctuary" for Mr. Di'Anno (this news comes during "The Ides of March" coincidentally).

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