Political Suess

What if life in Washington were like a Dr. Seuss book? Don't you wonder what that might be like? I know I do. It's not as far-fetched as you might think.

Yertle the Turtle thinks he is the king of the pond. He brags that he is the biggest, the fastest, and the strongest. All was well until he decided his kingdom was too small. He made each turtle stand on another one’s back. And he piled them all up in a big turtle stack. And underneath Yertle, it's turtles all the way down.

Obama / Yertle the Turtle
"I’m Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of all that I see!"

The Cat in the Hat shows up, transforming a dull day into a madcap adventure and almost wrecks everything in the process! Mischievous and effervescent, the Cat's antics are off the wall, and he performs all sorts of wacky tricks to amuse one and all — with mixed results.

Biden in the Hat
"I am indeed a cat, and this, indeed, is a HAT.
A vote of no confidence. I most humbly bow to the voice of the majority.
Good bye, now. Off to Siberia."

A heartless robber who tried to steal Christmas from the merry and warm-hearted Whos, the John Boehner Grinch hated Christmas. Maybe because his shoes were too tight. Maybe because his head wasn't screwed on right. But the most likely reason of all, may have been that his heart was two sizes too small. With his sour grinchy frown, he's a droll. He's got garlic in his soul. No one wants to touch him with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

Boehner Grinch
"Oh. Bleeding hearts of the world unite.
Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas?"

Or the Newt Gingrich...it's kind of like the Grinch, only worse. It's so bad it can be called the Newt Gin-GRINCH.

credit: Adam Kontras

On that note, here's a cheery Christmas song that should put you in the spirit.

credit: Christopher Duva

Happy Holidaze. May your holiday season be filled with Suessicals and Colliding-Collusions sponsored by Newt Gingrich child labor organizations.


J. Bear Savo said...

Happy New (Election) Year...

Static said...

@ J. Bear, I'm voting for Screwdriver. Deep Socket is too much talk and no action.

John Boehner said...

I feel kind of funny, like when I used to climb the rope in gym class.

Julio said...

It isn't that absurd to have children do some of the work. Until you think about the details, such as "Like, during the day when they're supposed to be learning?" and, "You mean, INSTEAD of reading books, right?"

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