Extreme Nasal Hair

Wow...hey, dude, good news. Now your mustache has a mustache!

mega nose hair

I've always dreamt of what it would be like to have nose hairs long enough to braid and wear like a scarf when it's really cold outside. I wonder if those government sponsored quantum orbital venereal wart vaccination experiments might cause extreme ear hair too. Then I could use my overabundance of ear hair as a combover! Just like this guy....

trump's ear hair combover

If you pluck that single ear hair you've managed to wrap around your head multiple times like an Ear Hair Turban (y'know, after you're done suing people for all sorts of petty reasons and making a complete spectacle of yourself) -- I'll donate $5 million dollars to 'Locks of Love' so a few hundred children with leukemia can remember what it's like to have a head of hair, dickwad.

Insincerely yours,



klahanie said...

Okay Static,

Being at an age where my nostril hairs and even my nose hairs, trail behind me along the sidewalk and cause all sorts of insurance claims as folks trip on said hair. Perhaps, I should snip it off and send it to you.

On a serious note, some indifferent fuckers in this world have no concept how good they have it. Bless those few hundred children for a better life in a caring world.

Peace, brother.


Gorilla Bananas said...

Humans are the least hairy and most sweaty of all the primates. These two facts are not unconnected. Making a big deal about the few remaining tufts is undignified - like slugs arguing about who can run the fastest.

THE SNEE said...

I obviously missed an item in the news, or did I? All, I know is I often feel harried by "The Donald". Maybe he suffers from little hair syndrome. Sadly....I fear his insensitivity and selfishness stems from a lot more than a lack of hair.

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