Showing posts with label douchebag. Show all posts
Showing posts with label douchebag. Show all posts

Weinstein Loves Cosby's Homemade Pudding

Hi, Harvey. You like pudding?

In Memoriam of Jollybags

| Nov. 16, 2014

Dear whomever left a used condom at the end of my driveway,

Please quit leaving your discarded prophylactics lying around for others to see, or possibly have to pickup. It was basically lying in the street, but still. You are disgusting. Did you drop it there because you wanted to leave behind some kind of proof of your conquest? That's an odd thing to do unless you meant it as a message for someone. If I am that someone, well then, I am not sure I understand the message.

Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Puts the Nasty in Dynasty

| Dec. 30, 2013

In this stunning, never-before-seen and recently uncovered video, Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson has some hobbies that most people will find far outside the mainstream.

Drink up, wise quacker, your beard needs lots of nourishment--giving the rest of us a real reason to "fear the beard".

Next Time Just Shoot Yourself

the dark knight rises

Dance, Monkey, Dance!


So I was just driving down the road minding my own business when I heard a loud thump on the side of my truck. "What the hell??" I said out loud to myself.

Thinking somebody's kid was trying to make a break for it across the street at the last second and had run head first into my truck (which is not unusual for the region I've had the unfortunate experience of living in for far too long and being surrounded by an overabundance of asshat locals), I immediately hit the brakes and hop out to inspect the damage.

But there was only a few kids standing around at the nearby street corner waiting for their school bus to pick them up. The little ones appeared to be aged 8 to 12 and gazed at the tallest one in their group, and there he was, the skinny 6'5" adolescent who looked guilty and was obviously their leader.

Pat Robertson Says Blue M&M's Devine Retribution

pat robertson flip off photo on facebook

Vagina Beach, VA - Rev. Pat Robertson has always been known as a shining beacon of hope and all that is good and holy, from his Liberian diamond mine venture, to his call for Hugo Chavez’s assassination.

After his remarks that earthquake stricken Haiti got what it deserved because of its pact with the Devil, it is now quite evident that Pat Robertson has lost his damn mind.

Woody Allen, Gary Glitter Show Support For Polanski

Since his arrest on September 26, in Switzerland on his way to pick up a lifetime achievement "Golden Icon Award" from the Zurich Film Festival, Roman Polanski's fate now hangs in the balance.

These days good and sensible doesn’t sell. Especially when you've eluded a 31-year-old fugitive warrant by skipping bail, fleeing the country, after pleading guilty and being convicted of getting a 13-year-old girl naked in a hot tub, plying her with champagne and quaaludes and forcing sex on her.

Never mind that Polanski's unquestionably talented. He's committed the crime, now he's gotta do the time. A slew of notable jailbait-chasing creeps are showing their support for Mr. Polanski.

Woody Allen, another brilliant comedian and filmmaker, offered his unlikely support. Pleading for Roman's release, Allen himself guilty of having younghot lusty fantasies, marrying the adopted daughter of his longtime love interest, would be the last person you would want to come forward if you were caught kiddie fiddling.

woody allen has wood for young ones
Allen shows how he won over Soon Yi

Allen quoted as saying, "How can anyone be utterly skeezed out by a middle-aged man jumping into the sack with jailbait? It's perfectly natural for a guy to be with a girl wherein he's older than her father...even if he's..practically her father."

Paul Francis Gadd, a.k.a. glam-rocker Gary Glitter, longest chart runs of any solo singer in the UK during the 70s couldn't help himself but show his support for Polanski. Gary said, "Age ain't nothin' but a number. AND that 10-year-old has my number. Does that make anybody uncomfortable?"

Gary Glitter seductively asks:
Do You Wanna Touch Me?

R. Kelly, trapped in a closet full of 14-year-olds says he's all for freeing Roman...the pizza delivery boy, after he's done pissing on him.

R. Kelly's gonna piss on j00

Travis Bickle, vigilantism motivated by sexual jealousy as it is by any kind of desire for justice.

You talkin' to me?

Who needs unrequited, consensual pedophilia if you have no problems with the violence typically portrayed in most movies? But complaining about the violence just makes you feel like a square.

But where do you draw the line between impropriety and turning predatorial relationships into heroism? Only in your wet dreams, Mary Kay Letourneau.

'Hot for Teacher' night is not creepy, because it's okay to rape little boys when you're a hot 34-year-old female teacher.

Herbert the Pervert, is one sketchy character. Perverts (in contrast to hot female teachers) are usually characterized by thin mustaches, clammy hands, and the ownership of a van turned into an ice cream business on wheels.

But not this seemingly harmless old man. He lures the newspaper boy in with promise of icy treats in his basement.

I got a whole freezer full of popsicles down in the cellar.

This dirty-year-old creepy and/or awkwardly disturbing menace to society, is always scissoring little boys with his eyes. An honorary member of NAMBLA, his art of bumblefucking is very unique. Herbert "the Pervert" is a bumblefucking sensei, and the origins and ways of bumblefucking are only known to him.

One thing is for sure, real friends are in short supply these days. But with friends like these, who needs enemies. Who needs decency or justice? Because we might possibly live in a world where fame trumps decency and justice.

“If I had killed somebody, it wouldn’t have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But… fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls!”

- Roman Polanski on fucking young girls (source)

If it were up to me, anyone who harms a child sexually would spend eternity in hell giving rim jobs to Hitler and obese people with bacillary dysentery.

Losing your dignity is probably one of the worst things a human being can endure, just ask any victim of rape. Polanski will probably be forced to join the ranks of national registered sex offenders and I think he should make a biopic based around his experiences leading up to that...not like Wanted and Desired or Manhattan.

Comparing apples to oranges, most actors and artists toil forever in obscurity, never getting recognition for the roles they portray or works of art they create.

But if you hone your craft and work diligently, you might find yourself in the role of a lifetime instead of making an unnoticed dramatic exit stage left. Because in a land of predators, the lion never fears the jackal....or the pedobear.

Emma Watson runs away from Pedobear Polanski at Brown University's campus.
Welcome to Rhode Island, Emma!

Phillip Garrido could not be reached for comment.

Higher Than a Giraffe's Ass

"The search for wisdom is a great challenge; to act on wisdom is an even greater challenge."
- Jagadguru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa

What does the term "higher than a giraffe's ass" mean? It 's when someone is really high (on life... or drugs.)

This Is Friggin' Hilarious


Baby Commended After Posting
"How To Make A Teen Fly"
Child Abuse Video On You Tube

- Article & video courtesy of Krapsody

Desoto, Georgia
A 16-year-old Lee County teenager who had been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to a child after posting a video on YouTube, demonstrating how to "Make A Baby Fly", has received sentencing yesterday which was handed down by Judge Judy who stated the teen boy shall be at the mercy of the baby he inflicted mental cruelty and intent to cause physical injury to.

Judge Judy had the final word when it came to her lightening speed sentencing which has led to a whole new media circus revolving around the baby's decision and statement to make his own YouTube video later that afternoon. That entire video is no longer posted on the YouTube website, however the best footage was edited and reposted this morning which shows excerpts of the baby's tutorial on "How To Make A Teen Fly" has been making it's rounds all over the internet, the baby gleefully posted.

In that video, the baby orders the teen to be tarred and feathered then stuffed head first into a cannon with several tons of ripe watermelons at a local circus event hosted by Barnum-Bailey-Ringling-Seigfried & Roy Bros, then launched the poor bastard who barely weighs in at 92 lbs., head over feet, across the tent - landing on a goose down pillow, oh the irony!

Paparazzi reports of the teen afterwards stated he had shat his pants, was crying with a snot bubble popping in and out of one of his nostrils between his sobs, and wondering why he was getting all this publicity. The camera flashes apparently blinded him as he inadvertently walked into a tigers cage amidst all the confusion.

The tigers were instantly curious about the teen boy as they had no experience with any other humans other than their trainer and the select few persons who fed them. Of course one tiger was much too interested and snapped the teens head off his body like it was a grape on a vine.

Warning this is graphic and is only a re-enactment!

tony the tiger

"It was terrible," said Lee County Sheriff, Harold Breeden. "I can't believe a tiger could do something like that!"

"I guess he found out it's not so darned funny after the baby and that hungry tiger got through with him," said Sheriff Breeden. "He'll think twice, uhhh maybe three times, next time you know, about how funny it was."

Funeral services will be held at the Desoto city dump on Thursday. Attendance numbers are expected to be few or possibly nonexistent.

It's rumored that the boy behind the camera is still facing the same charges and punishment as his late friend. More to come on this breaking news story.

This Is Not Funny

Teen Arrested After Posting "How To Make A Baby Fly" Child Abuse Video On You Tube
- Article & video courtesy of ThaLunatic Daily and The Dreamin' Demon

This is so sick I can't begin to describe my feelings about it. YouTube has given certain people an outlet for being as stupid and as comtemptable as they want to be. I've done some stupid things like any other person has when they were a kid. But these idiots prove the theory that there is no limit to human stupidity.

Desoto, Georgia
A 16-year-old Lee County teenager has been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to a child after posting a video on You Tube, demonstrating how to "Make A Baby Fly".

The video is no longer posted on You Tube, however a news report has been posted, showing excerpts of the video, the teen gleefully posted.

In that video, the teen places the child on an inflatable pillow and then launches it, head over feet, across the room - landing on the bare floor. The infant, who is 8-months-old, was left in the care of the teen who shot the video footage. The other teen involved was his friend and sent the baby flying across the room.

"It was terrible," said Lee County Sheriff, Harold Breeden. "I can't believe a 16-year-old kid would do something like this."

The Lee County Sheriff's department has arrested the teen (who cannot be named because of his age), and booked him into the RYDC, a Juvenile Detention Center. He has been charged with 1st-degree cruelty to children and 3rd-degree cruelty to children.

Police charged the teen with two counts because it considers the act, and then the encouragement of the act, two separate offenses. Police are also leaving the case open, pending a doctor's examination to determine if the child sustained any injuries from the teens behavior.

"It's not going to be funny when the judge gets through with him," said Sheriff Breeden. "He'll think twice next time you know, about how funny it was."

At first it was reported that the boy behind the camera could not be charged with a crime as there was no way to prove that the boy knew what the other teen was about to do. But now, rumors of a second video seem to be a fact and the boy behind the camera is facing the same charges as his friend.

Here's a YouTube video of that local news broadcast regarding the alleged second video.

After reading the story on ThaLunatic Daily I couldn't help but follow up with commentary of my own as feel that incident is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen. The level of disregard for life to me just boggles the mind. Do we blame this entirely on the children involved or do we also place some blame on their parents and society as well. Why if it weren't for tv shows like Jackass or the WWE we might not have things like this occur, unless parents actually used their brains and supervise and teach their children like they ought to. No word on whether the baby is ok, I'm hoping he is. I think all involved including the parents should be brought up on charges and the infants care should be followed up weekly by a social worker once sentencing has been carried out until he reaches adulthood.

We can poke fun at the idea of hurting someone, say for example pushing an old woman down a flight of stairs like in the movie 'Throw Mama from the Train' with Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal.

We can possibly even see the humor in being dysfunctional and abusive to a child, like when Homer Simpson strangles Bart for acting up.

Homer Choking Bart Simpson

And how about Dead Baby Jokes? Those can be pretty funny, if you can see the humor in them.

Take Andrew Long's post about Baby On Board signs at Shut Your Sprech Hole, a funny take on how other driver's pay attention or react to those signs people put in the back window of their suv's.

baby on board

Now that's funny. Only because humor is about referring to things in a manner that suggest an element of being funny. A tendency of particular images, stories or situations that provoke laughter and provide amusement which is sometimes subjective. Humor is comprised of three components: wit, mirth, and laughter. And it hardly ever involves real physical violence. The Three Stooges would concur, and I'm sure the makers of Jackass; Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, etc. would agree as well (even though they go to some extremes on that show).

What isn't funny? Deliberately launching a baby across the room with intention to harm the child, video tape it and post it on YouTube. And then claiming you thought it was funny and didn't intend for the infant to get hurt. I got such a rise out of this I posted a comment on ThaLunatic's post;

~Static~ said...

OMG that is just sickening.
I hope they get the teen some MAJOR therapy and that the infant is ok.
July 6, 2008 8:48 AM

to which some dimwit claiming to be a personal friend of one of the teens responded;

the deef end said...

hey im a friend to that kid and there is nothing wrong with him just a stupid teenage mistake how many peope have swung their kids around thinking it was funny or made them dizzy and hurt them?? MANY! he did not want to hurt the baby he just mad[e] a mistake and it is ruining his life with all this publicity
July 7, 2008 11:38 PM

Well, I hope "deef end" is joking and if they aren't I hope they can pull their head outta their "rear end" long enough to wake up and smell the coffee. You can read my response to deef end and form your own opinions. Personally, I think if the 16-year-olds that did this did not want PUBLICITY then why did they post it on the internet?! They have less value than the energy expended to calculate their worth. If life was fair, I could only hope they'd do a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up their own assholes instead of making babies fly. It's still not funny, unless you are clinically insane or a complete fuckwit.


Why Bush Stopped Golfing

President Bush in an interview with Politico Chief Political Correspondent Mike Allen announced that he has decided to stop playing golf, get this, because he doesn't want some mother of a son who died serving the military in Iraq to see him golfing. He'd much rather reminisce about being caught playing with his inaugural balls in the oval office.

Witness the President's last swing, "now watch this drive..."

What he's claiming essentially is that he has morals and a conscience. Hurricane Katrina in retrospect, I guess he realizes while he and Papa Bush were out fishing after that disaster that there are bigger things to concern themselves with. Afterall, he has to keep up appearances, right?

Dance Whiteboy Dance!
Bush stand-up comedy

As usual Bush stumbled, stuttered and skirted around issues such as the price of oil, the war in Iraq, and whether he likes plaid or solid colors with the usual rhetoric that makes no sense unless you are a mental patient who has just been lobotomized. Then his use of logic and the english language might actually make perfect sense.

You can catch the full webcast videos which appeared on Yahoo yesterday here and the entire transcript from the interview can be read here.

Some other witty quotes from the interview:

Q Mr. President, we understand you had a little homework assignment, you watched Steve Martin's "Father of the Bride."

THE PRESIDENT: I did. (Laughter.)

Q Did you pick up any tips there?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, which is to write the check and be happy.

Q Mr. President, ......I wonder if we could ask a question from one of our users, Steve Bailey, of New York, who says: With oil at $126 a barrel, pushing up the price of everything -- even food -- what can your administration do to help people right now?

THE PRESIDENT: I appreciate Steven's concerns. With the price of gasoline going up, it's like a tax. I wish I could give Steven a quick answer. In other words, it took us a while to get to where we are -- very dependent on oil, and in a world in which demand is greater than oil. So my answer to Steven is that the best thing we can do is to increase supply, and to drill for oil and gas in environmentally friendly ways at home, and build more refineries. Steven probably doesn't know this, but we haven't built a new refinery since 1976, and if we're truly interested in relieving the pressure on our consumers, then we ought to have a very active domestic policy now.

Q Mr. President, for the record, is global warming real?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, it is real, sure is. But the solutions -- having said that, the solutions have got to be measured and realistic -- you can't have a solution to global warming unless China and India are part of any international pact. It's one of the reasons I didn't accept what's called the Kyoto Protocol, and therefore was labeled as anti-environment. I'm a realistic guy. If the major emitters of greenhouse gases are not a part of a solution, then those who are part of a solution are acting in a way that's simply not going to -- it will affect their own economies, but it won't affect the overall global warming issue.

So, yes, I put forth a very realistic, straightforward program that makes sense.

lil John What?!

This lame interview prompted one reader to respond, "Well, for an interview that was supposed [to] answer "our" questions about what is going on, there was so much fluff, I thought a marshmellow [sic] plant exploded. Baseball, golf, Father of the Bride!!! Come on!!!"

Pretty much sums it up.

Bush attacked by russian circus bear

Do you dress like a douchebag?

Click image to view fullsize

Image courtesy of:

Fake money doesn't fool strippers

SMYRNA, Tenn. - A man who authorities say used his computer to make fake $100 bills to buy lap dances at a strip club has pleaded guilty to counterfeiting charges, federal prosecutors said.


Strippers at Deja Vu in Nashville were suspicious of the bills and called police after Damon Armagost spent $600 of the fake money April 16, authorities said.

Stripper and counterfeiter caught on camera

When officers arrived, Armagost first told them he got the money when he sold gold coins for $1,400 to an unidentified person.

Unidentified person(s) identified!!

U.S. Secret Service agents later determined that counterfeit bills with the same serial number had been passed in other parts of the country. When they went to Armagost's Smyrna home, about 20 miles southeast of Nashville, a family member told agents that an image of a $100 bill had been on a computer there.

Armagost then acknowledged that he had downloaded the image from the Internet and printed 14 of the bills, prosecutors said. He pleaded guilty Friday to manufacturing and passing counterfeit currency and has a sentencing date of Nov. 5.

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